If I Had (Eminem Fanfic)

Chapter 21- Difficult

"And you were like, so drunk that you threw all over Mike?"

The only response her semi-question could sprout were the live ticking of the hospital machines all around the room. Which was not the kind of response the young woman was looking for. Seated on a stool the hospital provided, her posture turned stiff whenever she looked up and her eyes landed on the comatose body of the patient on the bed in front.

"That was funny, wasn't it?" The words left her lips like a unwilling soldier returning to post.

She hesitated, swallowing. Not even a flutter of the eye, no single movement aside the slight rising and falling of her motionless friend's chest.

Pristine desperately avoided looking at the electrocardiogram monitoring his heart rate. Or the respirator that helped him survive every moment. But the tubes in his nostril or the one around his throat was hard to escape notice.

"Wake up, man." She mumbled weakly, eyes on his pallid face. Reaching for his hand, she carefully craddled it in both of hers. Gulping down a huge wave of tears, she forced herself to speak in a lighter tone. "The album didn't do that well, dawg.. but you know what? I actually received a few positivities. The radio played me, man! Yeah for once or coupla' times but shit, that's going far. I dunno, man, I'm like on break right now." Pristine paused and licked her lips. "You know what else, Marky? Your mom's been payin' you visits, for like thrice a week! Ain't that sweet of her?"

Although no humane response met her, Pristine broke into a gleeful smile all the same. "What? You love her, don't you? I knew it! You were always such a momma's boy, craving for her attention all the while making out like you didn't give a fuck 'bout her. I know it now. You wanted her to pay attention to you. I understand, man, but you really didn't have to do this." Her throaty chuckle that followed was left hanging.

"Mrs. Traves loves you, man. She a crazy lady sometimes, but I know she does." Pristine confirmed, "I bet my ass she would make you pancakes the day you're ready to walk out."

--

As soon as she took a step outside of the hospital building where her friend lay almost dead to the whole world, the rain poured down on her like an alarming ambush of pellets. Hitting her flesh mercilessly, but also keeping her in touch with dire reality. The vast expanse of sky above was an overwhelming painting of a dark lake in a forest; like ink against a silver background. Traffic was less, yet a cab was out of the question. Pristine was soon out of the hospital premises, successful in getting herself drenched from head to toe.

She kept walking on the sidewalk, barely passing another human being. She grew cold, and struck up a lilting tune to keep her mind distracted. Moments later, a loud honking noise followed her till she stopped dead in her tracks and turned, witnessing the source screech to a halt at the curb by her side.

A foggy window slid down, revealing a young brunette's face. "Yo! PRISTINE! what are you doin'? Get in here!"

Stripped of words by shock, Pristine did as told and scrambled into the car, next to her university friend who's been out of touch for months.

"What the heck are you doing?!" Tina confronted her, igniting the engine. Pristine only blinked."All by yourself on a night under such a hectic weather! you're out of your mind."

Then the young rapper found her voice. "W-what are you doing here? oh wait, were you even here? Where the fuck were you?"

A shadow veiled over her friend's face due to guilt. "I am sorry, I had to leave for New York. But..."

"I secured myself a job, biatch!"

Tina knew something was wrong as she glanced at her bestie's face which was smiling like a frozen mannequin.

"What happened?"

And Pristine spilled the beans.

Tina was indeed shocked. "I-I didn't know. Oh my God, so much happened and I didn't know!"

"I am so sorry, Pristine." Were the words the person they were directed to didn't want to hear. Pristine let it pass. "I'll come with you the next time you go to visit him."

Pristine didn't reply to that. "At least I know I have you as a girl friend by my side in these times. Jenna's been acting a straight up bitch too busy to do any shit else other than ball-sucking.' After equiping Tina with some details, and the story so far, Pristine dawned upon the realization that shit had happened too fast over the course of these months.

"Well..." Tina blinked several times, in disbelief. "I can only say, I'm back and no way near fuckin' happy to know all this. As for you, Pristine you can come stay at mines, any time you want. I'mma go back to NY soon, but till then. That is, if you ever get bored out of this sexy drug dealin' white boy you got." She winked, but dropped the smile once seeing Pristine's poker face.

 Tina reached out with her right hand to pat her shoulder. "Why don't you come with me to New York for a bit? See around some labels or get a fuckin manager, maybe?"

---

"Baby, everything's gonna be alright." He said to her, advancing with his hands. Snuggling closer to her like she was some bear, her boyfriend glided one of his arms around her waist while the other went to caressing her hair. Not resistant, she allowed him to pull her closer against his chest.

"You should see him. He looks like he's given up."

"Why do you think that?" He asked in a soft voice, mouth against her ear.

"What else there is to think? He doesn't respond! He doesn't hear me! He doesn't hear any of us!"

"But the Docs say he does."

"Fuck the doctors, Keid."

Silence brewed in the bedroom and Pristine collapsed against him, letting the whole day's work and stress get to her. She neither knew what Keid had been doing all day nor where he worked.

Still ain't got no fuckin' clue as to who you truly are, Pristine mused, shutting her eyes close.
She fell asleep and her mind drifted into an abyss of hopeless dreams. One of which included her being signed to a label and life taking a swerve into good times.

She dreamed New York.