belwatson
Jackson spends so much time with BamBam now that Mark can't help feeling left out and jealous. That until it piles up and the older rapper bursts out.
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Jackbam. Jackbam. Jackbam. That's all what Marks hears lately, unable to stop the grimace that comes to his face as he scrolls down his different SNS accounts and seeing the posts and comments some of the fans leave.
At the moment, he's all alone in their room while Jackson is probably out eating with BamBam, enjoying their time together. Again. How many times has it been in the last couple of months? The oldest member in GOT7 lost count long ago, at the same time the separation and rejection he started to feel became evident.
It used to be Markson or never but it suddenly became Jackbam and now they even have hoodies with that written on the back.
Seriously? Was that actually necessary?
Do they need to go together everywhere?
Does Jackson need to leave him behind like this?
Despite the dorm being always crowded with someone else, Mark can't help feeling lonely when Jackson isn't around, like something is missing and he feels the absence in his very soul. They've spent so many years together and they used to be always next to each other, sharing rooms, always interacting out and in front of the cameras. And when that changed he immediately felt the difference. And it hurt.
But it's not that Jackson has only grown distant, it's that he's grown incredibly close with the other members.
Was Mark wrong to think their friendship was different? Despite being both so different from each other, there was something between them, a bond that Mark couldn't explain but he always felt. Like they just... clicked.
But now Jackson acts the same way he did with Mark but with BamBam, even closer. They never got, on their own accord, matching couple items or anything like that, despite how much fans loved the Markson ship.
Seeing more of the pictures and videos from their time in Thailand doesn't help Mark to feel any better, the jealousy that's been brewing for so long already only making him feel sick. And it's terrible because he can't say anything. He isn't a kid, for crying out loud. He's the oldest and how pathetic would it be if he just complained out loud because he felt left out and jealous that Jackson was now spending more time with BamBam?
And that would make anyone ask him why he was jealous, and he couldn't answer that question. He always stopped himself before going there.
So now he lies in bed, all alone in their room while Jackson spends more time with BamBam. At least he does that until Jinyoung knocks at the door before entering. "We're going to have dinner. Are you joining us or waiting for Jackson and BamBam?"
"I'm not hungry," Mark answers, even if he doesn't want to wait for the other two members and feeling like he's third wheeling. When that happens Mark always wants to scream and cry at the same time, hating the uncomfortable feeling and how out of place he is.
"You didn't have lunch either, and we're worried. You never skip meals. Is anything wrong?" the designated dorm mum asks, going to sit beside him on the mattress he's lying on.
"I'm fine, just tired. I think I'll go to bed early, that's all," Mark replies, turning over his side, facing the wall and giving his back to Jinyoung, but he feels the hand of the younger on his shoulder.
"You don't look okay, Mark. I know you don't talk much, but that doesn't mean you don't have anything to say. You can talk to me and no one else will know," Jinyoung promises and Mark sighs, knowing he can trust Jinyoung, but in all honesty, he's not ready to talk about it yet.
