My cousin was outside in her garden, admiring her many strawberry plants and spearmint sprigs. Her garden always did well, it was always so lush and had plenty of strawberries for the birds and herself. The spearmint was used in her suntea recipe that was greatly liked in our family. It must've been a talent in the family, being able to bring plants back to life and take great care of them. She looked like she was happy and working hard, so I decided not to bug her.
When I walked inside I didn't see anyone. Her brothers must've been at work with their dad. I walked into her room, wondering if she had some shorts that would fit me, though I highly doubted it. As I was looking for shorts, I stood and looked in the mirror. Behind me, on her bed, was her journal. The one she wrote in constantly. It had pictures and letters sticking out of random pages.
Haley in her ballet outfit, frowning. Haley and her violin, frowning. Haley at the park with her friend Mason, frowning. Haley with her brothers in the hammock, frowning. Frowns, not one smile. Not even with her violin. Did she think she looked good while she frowned, or was that all she could muster besides a blank stare out into space? I tucked the pictures back inside along with some of her younger pictures. I looked at the open page, it had a list of names along with some writing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Cut Here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
People I think I know...not so sure. I mean, I know them, but not too sure if I know them. Do you understand, Morgan? I wonder if Wyatt can make more sense of these names.
Savanna: Friend? I think...not so sure. I have a feeling she is, so she is. No matter what my gut says, I listen to my brain.
Jamie: Can't remember...I don't think she's a friend so why do I have a picture of her and me? Weird, I don't remember this. I think this is from my birthday or something.
Lauren J: I know she's my friend, my bestest friend. She helped me a lot, and Morgan likes her a lot as well I'm sure we'd all be great friends. If only you two could see me now.
Haley: Another weird feeling...I don't think she's my friend, yet I do think she is. Why does my brain not want to make a decision. Something tells me there's a gap between something I know and something I don't. Oh well.
That's all I can think of without looking through my yearbook, so far so good with remembering names. I am so sleepy and tired, this new medicine is weird and makes me feel funny. Like I'm not here, like a balloon. Haha, I feel like a balloon, what a funny thought. I feel empty like a balloon, full of air. My stomach growls nonstop, but I try hard not to eat. I've looked up ways to make yourself skinny, but nothing's working! Why isn't any of these things working! I won't be pretty and guys won't love me unless I'm thin. I'll just have to keep working at it.
Haley
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Cut Here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I put the journal down. I wasn't sickened by what I read, but it was like the book had sent an electric shock through me. A feeling like guilt. She writes about Morgan and Wyatt like they're still here, like they're just too far away. Is that what made her snap? Morgan and Wyatt's death? I don't know...I wish I did. These are the only four names she could fully remember without seeing a face, why these four? Why are these people so significant to her life? Two haven't helped her, and one of the two only hurt her. The other two...I've never met them or heard from them. Who is Haley and who is Lauren J? Why can't she decide if Haley is a friend or not? So many questions, and I can't answer them. I then heard the bedroom door creak open.
(Note: The above paragraphs are not word-for-word of what my cousin wrote, just what she wrote in a nutshell. The names and what's beside them are exact, and who walks in to the bedroom? Well, that's for you to decide. ;P)
