The Artist | #3✓

Chapter 23

Two weeks passed, and the summer lectures, as well as holidays, were coming to an end. I was with Toby in the art room, and I was presently working on arranging individual reports documenting the progress of students I'd taught during the summer lectures. Toby was doing the same for the classes he'd taken, and he hadn't really gotten up from his desk since school hours started.

"Do you want me to get something for you?" I asked, holding on to the knob of the art room's main door. I was heading to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Toby kept typing, but he looked up from his computer after a while. He smiled at me a bit before nodding his head as a response to my question.

"Yeah, if you could get me a medium-sized coffee that would be great," he said, making me nod with a smile before I opened the door and left the art studio.

I soon came back with a tray of food for myself, and a cup of coffee for Toby. He thanked me, humming in content as he took a sip from the paper cup. I smiled, heading to my desk with my tray of food.

The school hours ended soon after, and I followed Toby to his apartment after we left the school building. We ate lunch together in his living room, before having a long talk as we cuddled on his queen-sized bed. Duke was laying on the bed towards the edge as he looked at us with his brown eyes. He looked rather sad, and I wasn't sure why. Maybe it's because we didn't let him squeeze himself between us. After a while the dog left the bedroom, probably to mess around with the pillows in the living room. 

"So, have you decided on what to do?" I asked Toby in a small voice during our conversation. Summer was coming to an end soon, and Toby hadn't really mentioned if he'd decided whether he was still taking Silvia's dad's offer or not. Although I appreciated just going about our day without worrying about it, It was hard to keep doing with every passing day. I was starting to get a bit restless since the time before I had to go off to college was shortened as days passed. 

Toby smiled at me, running a hand through my hair, before moving to rub my cheek with the base of his thumb. "I've decided that I'm going ahead with it. I've talked to my therapist a few more times, and she said I can go ahead with it, but I should be conscious of stress."

I frowned, a bit confused about the last part of his sentence. "What does that mean?"

Toby shrugged, before pulling me into a tighter hug. "I think she means that I should take it slow — that I should take the steps forward, but I should still be conscious," he explained.

"Oh," I muttered, closing my eyes a bit before opening them again when I felt Toby kiss my forehead.

"Do you want to start looking for apartments together? We don't have much time left," he said when he pulled away. I wasn't sure what he meant at first, but my face warmed up, and my eyes watered when I realized he was talking about us moving in together.

"Yeah..." I trailed, not really trusting myself to say anything without breaking down in happy tears. "Yeah, of course."

Toby's smile widened at that. He leaned in to kiss me on the lips, and I let my hands hold on to his face, pulling him closer so that I could kiss him harder — feel and savor him more. When we eventually pulled away from each other Toby had a smile on his face. He pecked my nose before pulling me back into a hug as he let out a content sigh.

"I'm so happy," Toby said. "Have you ever been so happy that it feels like your heart wants to burst?"

"Yeah," I replied as I felt my heart beat against my chest at a quicker pace. "That's how I feel right now."

Toby pulled away from me to stare at me in the eyes. He grinned, humming a bit before he leaned in to kiss me again. 

After a while of hanging around in bed, we left the room and headed for the kitchen area to make dinner together. I couldn't help thinking about how homely it would be when both of us lived with one another — I couldn't help thinking about how great it would be to wake up and see Toby's face first thing in the morning. It made me have an odd smile on my face as Toby and I prepared dinner. He teased me about it, poking the dimples that my oddly wide smile had created, but I didn't mind it. I was happy, and he made me happy.

After dinner, I headed back home. I walked into the living room after Ava opened the front door for me. I was heading to my room, but I stopped at the door of the guest room where Xander was staying. I thought about visiting him for a bit before deciding to knock on his door. The knob turned soon after, and Xander poked his head out of the small space he'd created by opening the door just a little. A smile graced his face when he saw me, and he opened the door fully before telling me I could come in.

"You've been so lovey-dovey with your boyfriend that I thought you'd never come to see me again," Xander laughed, making me blush a little bit as I headed for his bed.  I took a seat at the edge as Xander came over and sat at the center of his bed with crossed legs. He was in a loose lavender top and black pajama bottoms. 

"So, what did you come over for? Do you have something to tell me?" Xander asked, looking at me with a curious gaze. 

"So, I can't just come over again?" I asked, laughing.

"You can, I just prefer it when you have something to talk about," he laughed, probably poking fun at my lack of conversational skills. It made me roll my eyes at him. Xander grinned, laying down on his bed, and causing the mattress to sink a bit. He was soon gazing at the ceiling with his green eyes, frowning a bit at whatever he was looking at.

"What? Is it bad to want gossip?" he asked, laughing. "I'm sorry. I'm a writer, I don't know how to mind my business. How do you think I come up with stories?"

"It's not gossip," I said, laying down on the bed beside him as I laughed along with him. He hummed, and I followed his eyes to the ceiling above. It seemed like two wall geckos had made themselves comfortable above.

"Toby wants to start looking for apartments together," I eventually said, breaking the silence. Xander turned to me with a grin on his face, forgetting the geckos that were just above him.

"That's great! But doesn't that mean you won't be staying in your college's residence anymore?"

"yeah, reservations are easy to cancel so I'll just do that," I replied. "We'll probably get a place close by, though. He's going to be doing a masters program at the art institute I'll be attending."

"Lucky," Xander muttered, before pouting. "Two months ago, I thought you were pegging over a hopeless relationship — no offense."

I laughed, shrugging a bit. He was right. It had seemed hopeless.

"Wait, doesn't that mean Toby will have to quit his present job?" Xander asked, making me frown a bit.

"Yes," I said, realizing that that was indeed the case. It began to dawn on me how much of a change Toby was going to make. He was going to go back to school, move out, quit his job, and probably look for a new therapist closer to the apartment we'd hopefully be sharing. The realization started to make me feel a bit uncomfortable. Maybe I was encouraging him to make such a big series of changes on such short notice and little time.

Was it healthy for him?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Xander asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to him before shaking my head, and not saying anything in response. He gave me a worried look, but he didn't probe me any further. He got up from his bed and headed for his computer on the study desk by the door.

"Okay then, if you say so," he said as he took the seat by the desk and began to log into his laptop. "Though, if you change your mind and you want to talk about it, I'm here."

I didn't answer him, and the room went silent. I laid on his bed for a little while, allowing my mind to wonder about the place. I was starting to feel a bit selfish, and a little inconsiderate, but I tried to calm myself down. Toby had said that it was what he wanted — that he wanted this as much as I did. I shouldn't let my paranoia take control.

As I let myself dwell in my thoughts, I promised myself to ask him about it again tomorrow, while trying to convince myself to calm down. I was going to be there for him — we were going to make it work. I left Xander's room after I'd calmed down a bit, and I then headed for my bedroom before taking a shower and heading straight to bed right after.

All I wanted was for Toby to be happy. I didn't want to make the mistake of putting wanting to be with him before what he needed to heal. I wanted him to be comfortable and happy. I didn't want to contribute to his pain.