Standing out on the edge to an abyss of frigid water I feel my hands loosening their grip on my bag. I clutch it once more as my foot slides closely to the edge. A voice from behind me speaks out.
"Hey! Get off of there! Are you trying to kill yourself?" he demands.
I look back at him, anger stricken eyes that dart to meet his. His blue eyes meet mine and they flicker away almost immediately. The man snickers, tripping over his feet as he turns the other way. Good ridden. I face the city again. The lights
flicker with the sun slipping away from the earth. They look like they're communicating. It makes me wonder awhile.
Twenty minutes out and the sun is gone. I am alone. All papers signed and all thoughts of
relinquishment gone. My husband is walking out and to this I say fuck you. I hear the irony, as four months ago that's exactly what happened. Since then the phrase has lost its innocence. Wind from the east blows strands of hair in my face and I notice my cigarette going out. I throw it to the ground, putting it out with the sole of my shoe. I blow smoke in the direction opposite the wind. I should go home like the
grown women all over this overworked town, sliding in a slim fit night gown made of the finest silk, getting into bed with the man I decided to spend the beginning adventurous part of my life with. Too bad these things are too fine
to last. A bar downtown calls my name like the beer they sell. I grab the subway and soon I'm outside the
front door, listening to the bar fights just waiting to greet me. The idea of this bar would be a better idea if only I wasn't 29 and spending the last nights of my marriage with hangovers the size of the moon and drool in the corner of my mouth drying up as I fall
asleep on the couch watching reruns of Friends.
I breathe in hope for better days. My lungs appreciate this, what with all the mass consumptions
of liquor going through my system. I decide to give this tireless body a break. I listen to the conversations
of strangers on either side of me, suddenly aware of how lonesome I must look yet definitely am not.
I enjoy my own silence. A young boy across the bar, possibly his mid 20s playing pool shyly studies his
pool stick waiting for his turn as if it holds all the answers hes been looking for. Such fear in just existing
it seems.
YOU ARE READING
Resurrection to Innocence
General FictionA woman once full of love in the world falls in love with with a young man who seems to not be all she needs. Finalized divorce, she spends her nights alone at the bar until decides to regain back her childhood engagement in life and links back into...
