Unconditionally (Harry Styles)

Chapter 20

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"Okay..." I say concerned. Maybe he's going to tell me what his problem has been these past few days.

"I love you so so much, okay?" he says crying.

This doesn't sound good.

"Okay" I say wanting him to get to the point.

"I... " He stops and takes a deep breath "I don't think this can work..."

Tears immediately start forming in my eyes. Is he... is this going where I think it is?

"Harry... what?" my voice shakes.

"Sydney, I love you so much... And... and it's because I love you that I'm doing this.... you... you can find someone much better than me..." he stumbles over his words.

It feels like someone just stabbed me in the heart. How does he think I can find someone better than him? He's the best thing that's ever happened to me...

"But Harry..." I say trying to get words out.

"I'm so sorry, Sydney... I'm so sorry..." he's sobbing right now.

"What did I do wrong?" I ask honestly.

"Nothing... absolutely nothing... you're perfect Sydney. You're so perfect. That's why I'm doing this... I don't deserve you..." he's sobbing.

If this is upsetting him so much, then why is he doing it? He told me so many times that he can't live without me, what changed?

"Harry...." I can't even say anything. I'm too heartbroken.

"Please, Sydney.... Please try to move on. Just forget about me. Find somebody that can make you happy... I know there's someone out there that is perfect for you... please just try..." he cries.

I sniff "But Harry you make me happy. I can't just move on..." I cry.

"Please, Sydney. I'm begging you. I just want you to be happy" he pleads.

"If you wanted me to be happy, then you wouldn't be doing this" I argue.

He stays silent for a second, then takes a deep breath.

"Sydney... Please... just trust me... I love you more than anything, okay?" he's crying even harder now.

"Then why...." I mumble.

"I have to go now... I love you" he hangs up the phone.

I slide down the brick wall and lay my head back. Tears are pouring out of my eyes. I have never felt tears burn this bad... even when I thought my dad died... it feels like each tear is burning right through my flesh. It feels like he took a knife and stabbed it right through my healing heart. I've never been in this much pain before... my chest aches, my head is throbbing, everything hurts. It hurts so bad.

How can I live without him? He literally was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I'm sobbing uncontrollably right now with my head in between my knees.

I replay all the conversations from this week in my head. The constant "I love you, okay?" And all of the apologies. His crappy mood. It all makes since now. He has been planning to do this the whole week. But why? Why did he wait until today?

My heart hurts. It physically hurts. I don't think I've ever been in so much pain before. I thought we were going to be together forever. I know that's kind of silly because I'm only 16... But I really felt like he was the one... And I thought he did too.