Lost it All

Mothers

 Twelve Years Later

Why did I let her convince me to come back, oh why.I walked into the house of my past, holding my baby girl's hand. Rose smiles at me and asks, "Mommy this used to be your home?". She looks so curious, with her big steel-colored eyes. She's the spitting image of her mother; other than those eyes, those eyes are her father's. Her mother's auburn curls, a light dusting of freckles, light skin, and beautifully long lashes.

As the age old memories began to flood me in this place, I wanted to look at my daughter and say no this place had never been my home, just the place I lived.

Seeing us, one of the servants took my bags saying, my mother and stepfather were in the dining room. I walked into the dining room and saw them eating dinner, like I had always wished to do with my mother. Frank, my stepfather of six years, hugged me, picking up Rose, and spinning her around.

My mother gave me a quick awkward hug before retaking her seat at the table, saying, " Come eat, believe me we have plenty.".

Two days later

After getting all of our stuff situated, I took Rose out to Lola's grave. As we sat there, for I don't know how long, I told her of all the adventures me and Lola had. She asked me, " Why don't you call me Lola? That is my first name, isn't it? Mrs.Petty had us write our full names for class a few months ago."

I didn't know how to respond: Rose had always known Lola was her real mom, I don't think she's old enough however, to know about what had happened before she was born. I answered truthfully, if only partially, " You look so much like her as it is, and that name just reminds me she won't ever come back, that I'll never get to tell her how amazing you are. If you'd like to be called Lola, I'll call you Lola, I think you're old enough to decide what name you wish to be called."

I decided it was about time to head back home and Rose said, " Okay, but just so you know mommy: I don't wanna be called Lola, I like being Rose."

I smiled at my bright daughter, and together we walked back to the car. Once we were halfway to the car I saw another pulled up beside it, and out climbed Lola's mother and Ethan. I knew Lola's father had died of a heart attack two years ago, and wondered who's grave they would visit first as I looked anywhere else but at them. Rose was just climbing into the backseat, as I felt a tap on my shoulder,

Turning around hesitantly, I saw the sneer of a woman I once thought of as my second mother. Her hair was all gray now, her face lined with age, and her once bright and merry eyes bleak. She snarkily said, " I heard you'd come back. I was just wondering exactly what brought you back, and if your gonna stay." Looking over my shoulder, I saw her eyes show a spark of something before she turned away with humph and threw her hair over her shoulder, not even waiting for my answer to her remarks.

Ethan's dark blue eyes met mine for only a second before he too looked away, and followed his mother to the grave sites.

As I got into my car I marveled at the oddity of how different things were now: My mother was eating family dinners, and trying to be in our lives. Mrs. Gin was malicious and treating me as if I carried some disease she wished to be rid of forever.