Chuseok 추석 ▶j.jk Fanfiction

05

"The hardest part of being in love is being in pain. The more you love the more the pain you'd get."

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CHUSEOK DAY 2.2

She...

Her eyes says it all. Her feelings were unexplainable. She is hurting like before. She was upset and mad of herself. All she wanted was to move on and start a new life. Her thoughts and dreams have shattered. She only wants to make him happy. She wants him to feel loved. She wants him to make her feel loved too. But she didn't. Her perception in life vanished when he left her. After those years, her intention is to make herself happy. But in the end, she lived miserably. She's crying alone in those lonely nights trying to comfort herself, her eyes were puffy all day, she's in pain you can say, she has been left by the one she loves the most. She tried to distract herself. She tried many recreational activities, she's into painting so she expressed herself through her paintings. But everytime she looks at her paintings, the familiar pain will struck her straight into her heart. If she could just build an armor to protect her heart. She went through many hardships because of what happened. She's  struggling and tried to cope up with the loneliness and tried to be okay even though she's not. Despite of the pain he caused her, she still thinks about him. She still wants him. She loves him. After all he said to her, she's still hoping that it is all just a dream and a lie. But she's lying to herself and making herself more miserable. So she decided to rise again and move on. It wasn't an easy process. She still cries at night until she fell asleep. Trying to convince herself that it is all fine. She looked at the positive side and she didn't let the negatives be with her. Yes, she's alone and yet she fought the loneliness. She overcome it and she changed.

He came back. And all her pains came back too. She was upset and mad. Why can't she just move on? Well, it is because she loves him more than anyone else. He is her first love, first cry and first heartbreak. She is jealous. Very jealous. She hopes, he would realize that it hurts her so much. Even though she concealed it with a simple smile, you could still see the mark of sadness in her eyes.

He...

'The feeling is mutual'. He was very happy upon hearing that phrase. All he wanted was love and attention from Yulli. He was very happy. His crush likes him too. He is very happy with her company. Their friendship is real. All he wanted was her. He was blinded by his affection towards Yulli that he didn't even noticed that someone's getting out of the picture already. That someone's happy to see him too, that someone is there for him too, that someone is hurting and someone loves him. He didn't even realized that he caused 'that someone' so much pain.

But his world ended when Yulli's going to leave him. He cried, yes he did cried. He's upset and mad. He didn't realized that someone is willing to comfort him. He even said hurtful words towards her. He became blind and heartless. He tried to move on and ease all the pain. The one he saw was Daejun. Finally, he noticed her already. He was 16 that time. Because of being hopeless, he courted Daejun and have a realationship with her. Yes, they were together but he still wants the company of the one who left him. She still loves Yulli. Their relationship lasted for a year. He broke up with Daejun upon knowing that Yulli is back. He left her. Devastated. He was 16 that time, still immatured, but Daejun isn't, she's hurting. The pain of being used controlled her. He broke her. But he pitied her. His conscience has been telling him to not leave her. But his heart is stronger than his conscience.

He moved on and didn't considered the fact that he may hurt Daejun again when he came back. He is definitely wrong. It caused her so much pain.

To be continued...