Smile

9 Chapter

Walking around the zoo, Robert recalls his memories of visiting the zoos with his siblings and their nannies. His parents took the whole family once, but he still remembers the photographs of that day. Until today, he never visited a zoo as an adult and looking around at all the families, especially the joyful children, made him feel rather happy.

Standing in front of the gorilla exhibit, he asks an elderly couple if they would take some photos of him.

"Sure," the woman smiles softly.

"Thanks," he replies smiling at them. He wonders what he will be like at their age. Will he be as happy as these two? Will he finally be married or be divorced?

Before he's able to continue a conversation with the couple his cell phone rings. Noticing the familiar number, he excuses himself with a little nod of his head.

Robert greets the caller, "Hi Finn."

"Hey mate, I just wanted to check if you're still in on our poker game on Saturday," Finn asks.

"Well, probably," Robert replies hesitantly.

"Probably? Come on, man. We need you to piss Huntz off. I love how irritated he gets when you're winning again," Finn chuckles.

"Oh...well... Logan will be there..." Robert stutters.

"Sure, Logan is coming. He never missed one of our poker games in the last few years. But you like Logan, what's wrong?" Finn tries to find out why Robert hesitates.

Before Robert can explain why he's hesitant about seeing Logan again, some birds in the Congo Gorilla forests are croaking.

"Bloody hell, where are you?" Finn wonders.

"I'm in the Bronx Zoo," Robert replies smirking.

"In the Bronx Zoo? Like with all the animals?" Finn asks fascinated.

"Yeah, there are lots of animals here," Robert laughs about the overdramatic antics of one of his best friends.

"What the hell are you doing there?" Finn requests curiously.

"Taking pictures of hairy males," Robert giggles. He enjoys teasing his friend.

"Are you drunk, my friend? Being at a party without me is cruel," Finn pouts.

"Finn, I'm on an adventure hunt and yes, you should be absolutely jealous," Robert mocks smirking.

"Ahh, ... are women involved in your hairy adventure? Perhaps some nice redhead you want to share?" Finn chuckles, he's still wondering why the hell Robert is in the zoo.

"Well, only one mysterious girl," Robert replies smiling softly. He feels his heart beat faster.

"A girl? For real? It's bloody time mate!" Finn blurts out excited.

"Yeah, a girl is involved, but I don't know where it will go," Robert murmurs.

It's the first time that he is talking with someone about Rory. In the last few years Finn and Robert have grown extremely close. Going through a tragedy together helped them to become best mates. Finn helped Robert through his loss and on their way their relationship changed from pure party animals to a close bond. Usually Robert would have immediately shared his thoughts about Rory, but due to her relationship with Logan he hesitated. Once he figured out his relationship with Rory he will tell the boys about her, but now it seems too early to mention it.

"Robert, we all know you loved her more than your own life, but it's already two years. Time to live again, mate," Finn tries to convince him. He hates seeing Robert like this.

"But it still feels like yesterday," Robert replies, his voice filled with a hint of sadness.

"Nobody will ever forget her, however for the first time it sounds like you found a new girl who seems pretty special too," Finn affirms gently.

"She is something special," Robert replies softly.

"I'm happy for you, mate. When can I meet her?" Finn asks. He wonders which woman finally succeeded to make Robert smile again.

"Well, Finn, I think I need more time," Robert murmurs meekly.

At first he wanted to tell Finn about meeting Rory in his club. But how could he talk about her without sharing the details of their kiss. Smiling he remembers that first kiss after all those years.

"Robert, I'm your best mate, you can't hide your new-found love from me," Finn pleads dramatically.

"If this develops into a relationship I will introduce her to you. I promise," Robert states while he thinks how happy he would be with Rory. However, things are complicated and he's not sure if she would want to be involved with him and if she knew the loss that he's still carrying from his past relationship. He is not sure if this is the best time to start a new relationship.

"What do you mean? Aren't you wooing her with all you have to offer?" Finn keeps asking questions. Why is Robert hesitating?

"It's complicated," Robert counters.

"Does she know about her?" Finn blurts out.

"She suspects something. Last weekend I thought for a moment she was Marissa," Robert replies ashamed.

"Oh no," Finn states, "Have the flashbacks returned?"

"I don't know," Robert whispers. "The last year I had only nightmares. Last weekend was the first time after a long time I saw her again."

Finn worries about Robert. "What happened?"

Robert knows Finn is the only one who understands him, because Finn was the only one who escorted him to his therapist when he was too depressed to leave his apartment. He sighs and starts to explain, "She took off her blouse and she was the first topless woman I was attracted to since Marissa. I think being in such an intimate situation triggered my memories and I think I froze."

"You think you froze? You don't remember? How did she react?" Finn asks. He read a lot about traumatic events to help his friend through his crisis and also talked to Robert's therapist to help his friend through it

Hesitating Robert tries to continue, "I kissed her passionately and then I told her I missed her. When I realized that she wasn't Marissa, I ran into the bathroom." He gulps and wonders if he should make an appointment with his therapist again.

"Robert, you know your therapist told you this could happen when you start a new relationship. But you should talk with her about it," Finn understands exactly what happened. She is the first woman after Marissa whom Robert is finally attracted to.

"Finn, I know, but I'm afraid that she might run away. She was in a long-term relationship and declined her boyfriend's proposal. I don't want to move too fast and scare her away," Robert tries to explain. Sure, he knows that he should tell Rory about Marissa, but he fears that she will leave him before they get to know each other better.

"Didn't you scare her already with your behavior? Escaping into a bathroom doesn't sound like something women are expecting from men to do," Finn comforts Robert.

"She was confused, but she chose to comfort me, and we ended up making out for a very long time," Robert smiles.

"Okay, mate, she truly sounds like a keeper. I need to get back to work. Enjoy your day at the zoo whatever you're doing there, and I will see you on Saturday," Finn replies. "And if you need someone to talk to, you can call me as always night or day. See ya."

"Bye Finn and thanks for being such a great friend," Robert says, before they're finished their call.