Mindless

The Doctor

I sit in a chair, my feet swinging over the tiled floor. I watch them, counting the seconds, breathing in and out in deep steady breaths, just like the Doctor told me. 

My eyes quickly flit over to the row of empty chairs next to mine, then right back to my feet. My breaths are faster, my heart beat erratic. I'm fairly certain that I'm counting half seconds as seconds now.

I squeeze my eyes shut and force my breathing to steady out. 

I can't show fear or panic. I have to be brave. I have to look stoic. But the row of empty chairs has rattled my nerves. 

My right hand begins to shake. I'm not sure why.

Finally, I have my breathing under control again, my seconds are seconds again, and I've gotten my arm to stop shaking.

The door opens and I look up. The Doctor enters followed by his younger companion. 

I like the Doctor's companion. He's kind to me and the others. He gives me a small warm smile.

The Doctor smiles at me. "Hello, my dear. Are you ready?"

I nod, but my right hand begins shaking again. Of course, the Doctor notices. "Are you scared?" He asks, approaching me.

I shake my head and obediently tilt it left. Seconds later I feel his fingers on my pulse. The room is silent, the only noise is the soft ruffling of paper as his companion open my file to flip through the pages.

"Perfectly normal," he says, taking his fingers from my pulse. "von Wen," he says, turning to his companion, "Make a note of this. Heart rate is 80 BPM, perfectly normal, however, I believe subject 45 may be developing a twitch. Set up a time for Dr. Stran to evaluate her. It's probably nothing, but we can't put our best subject at risk, now, can we?"

von Wen nods, silently making notes.

The Doctor breezes by him to the door. Opening it, he turns back towards me. "Come along now, we have a schedule to keep to."

von Wen gives me an apologetic smile. Closing my file, he exits the room.

Obediently, I slide from my chair and exit the room, leaving behind the row of empty chairs.

The steady beeping pierces my sleep. Slowly, I open my eyes, my mind playing the vision back. As the beeping continues, it becomes harder to hold onto the memory. At least, I'm fairly certain it was a memory. It had felt so real.

I look at the device making the noise. Every time it beeps, a spike forms across the screen. I follow one of the cords handing from it to some sort of clip on my left ring finger. I study it for a moment before I reach over and yank it off my finger. 

No sooner is it falling from my hand that the machine is screeching a single high-pitched note. 

I can see the door to the room right across from me, so I decide to leave. I wasn't quite sure where I was, but I had already decided I didn't like being here. I begin to sit up, but feel a tug on my left arm. A needle taped to my arm is attached to a tube with some kind of clear liquid. I grab it and pull. There is a sharp pain and I realize that the needle was actually in my arm. Too late for that thought. 

I move to slide out of my bed, when suddenly Doctor Airaway bursts through the door followed by three others in white lab coats.

"Gwen," Airaway says, surprised. 

Not sure what else to do, I point at the needle I pulled out of my arm. "Was that important?" I ask.

Airaway turns to the other three people. "You can leave," she tells them, before turning back to me. They all leave and Airaway approaches me. "Not that important. But this," she says switching off the screeching machine, "Nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Why?"

"It's a heart monitor. When you detached yourself from it, it registered that as your heart stopping. I almost couldn't start your heart again the first time it stopped. Let's not try for two-for-two."

It takes a second for me to process her words. "I. . . died?"

She nods. "Yes. Do you remember anything?"

"Why?"

A troubled look crosses her face. "After we restarted your heart, and finished the operation, you kept slipping in and out of consciousness. You were-"

"Counting." For a second I can see that empty room and its row of empty chairs again. 

She nods. "Yes. Do you remember why?"

My eyes fall to my right arm. It doesn't move, though. It remains still. "The Doctor told me to."