Wrong Thoughts

Kindly read the description! ;) mwah!
-

Stupid.

How stupid am I to think he'd be my last?

How dumb I am to think he'd fight for me.

How cruel I was to hurt him, then expect him to stay?

Stupid.

How stupid I was to let him go.

I let him go just because of the thought that he loves me very much, and he'll do anything just to win me back.

I was wrong.

My thoughts are very stupid! I am stupid, I let the man I love go..so far.

Far where I could only see him with somebody else.

Tanga. Katangahan nga naman.

I thought my confession of being still into him would lead him back to me, but I thought wrong.

Sabi nila, "Ang relasyong nag-simula nang high school ay hindi nagtatagal."

Hindi ako naniwala, kasi nga "Sabi lang".

Pero isa pala KAMI sa nagpatunay nang salitang 'yun.

Sobra kasi yata ako?

Highschool nga naman daw ang pinaka-masayang pagpasok. Ano? I mean, lahat raw nang experience o di mo pa nagagawa ay maaari mo'ng maranasan in Highschool.

I was the prettiest in our batch, yeah sounds boastful but it's the truth. I've been a muse since first year. And I always won pageant awards because I'm a beauty and brain. Yes, I am a Top 3 honor student in our batch because we're in Hetero grading.

I was nobody's fool. I mean, matalino nga ako hindi lang sa acads kundi pati sa mga bagay-bagay. Matured kung mag-isip.

That's why I've never been into relationships. Marami naman akong manliligaw, the thing is.. their love isn't permanent. One thing's for sure: "It's only an infatuation." Crush or something, but love? Hell no. I grew up without a father. Well Broken Family, I'm not mad at him though. I realised na baka hindi talaga sila ni Mama para sa isa't-isa.

Pero itong si classmate, si Christopher Nathaniel Mercado. Siya lang ang lalaking hindi ko kasundo sa room, I mean..all the boys were entertaining me as always, but he always choose to sleep instead to talk nor look at me.

Kamalas-malasan pang naging groupmates kami sa reporting. Okay, reporting lang, pero para sakin ay kailangang paghandaan. Grade kasi ito, at tsaka kailangan ko pang i-list ang possible questions ni Mam o kaya nang mga kaklase namin. As an honor student, hindi 'to biro. Nakakapressure dahil mataas ang expectation sa'yo nang lahat, teachers, classmates, especially parents.

So ayun, mahirap gumawa nang hindi nag-uusap. Patango-tango lang siya kapag itinuturo ko sakaniya ang kailangan niyang ipaliwanag.

Matalino naman din siya, tamad lang. Natuwa ako nang halos maperfect namin ang score sa reporting! I was damn relieved.

Natawa ako nang niloko si Nate (Christopher) na takot raw sakin kaya nagtino.
Nagulat pa ako nang makita siyang nakatitig sakin, "What?" Mataray na tanong ko sakaniya sa kabila nang pagka-ilang. Tumikhim ako't nag-iwas tingin. Pero agad ding bumalik ang paningin ko sakaniya.

Ngumiti siya at ginulo ang buhok, hagya pang ngumiti bago umiling.

Sa di malamang dahilan ay tila bumilis ang tibok nang puso ko. Iwinaski ko naman agad iyon sa isip ko.