locked up

ONE: The Warm-Up

THE WARM-UP

I stretched and yawned as I woke up with the sunlight on my face. Sanity-snatching silence had muddled around me. It was just the beginning of the day yet I already feel like I have been working for a whole month without break. This is just another day to face, another day of torment and mortification.

Why?

Well, it’s simply because my neighbors, some co-workers, most of schoolmates, even my old acquaintances seemed to be allergic with me as though I have a contagious disease or something one would be disgusted of. And if it’s not the case, they will treat and look at me as if I am a sort of freak or an alien from the planet called, ‘Kepler’ who successfully made it to planet Earth where humans said to be living. They will do anything that they can with all their strength just not to cross my way (but of course, bullies are always an exception). Others will only approach me if they are in urgent need (in bullies,’ case they’ll approach me most often in their need to be pampered), if there are no more options left but to put their masks on and quarantine their selves before walking towards the contaminated zone. And to add more, the second top of the list of metaphors I hated is: “Waking up in the morning is to die without having breakfast”.

If you're asking where's my family, well, they still live in the city where I was born, miles away from here where I’m staying right now for good, I assumed. It was just a year ago while I was still on a young age when I had decided to start working for myself and separate. I did that for the sakes of everyone in the family and to avoid being criticized by my own flesh and blood as well.

In case you’re having a hard time understanding what I wanted to say, let’s put it this way. Just assume that almost all people around me has their own reason to put all the blames on me on anything unlikable that will happen in their lives and as well as in the whole world. To give you a proof, I have been asked—or should I say accused once by someone about the 24/7 super typhoon doing some sort of make-over or putting a little touch of natural calamity (or the other way around), around the county. That happening retained on my memory when he just popped in front me with pointed finger right to my face. His actual lines had stained my brain seriously that I couldn’t erase it in my head even with the use of expensive bleaches. I actually don't know whether I should feel a little more burried under or laugh on his words.

You might think that I’m using a lot of figures of speech here and that I have been exaggerating things a little bit. But I will bet my remaining dignity to admit all accusations to me if I really am exaggerated. I’m certain, after you’ve read his lines it is not me who you wouldn’t treat as one freaking alien and the one you wouldn’t want to come across with.

“What did you do now, huh?! What are these typhoons and hurricanes all about? Are these your way to get revenge on us because we kept telling you how unfortunate you are, huh?”

Got what I mean?

After drowning myself on gallons of not so polite memories I sat on my bed shortly and moved for a start by preparing for my first day on senior year.

Soaking me in the bathtub, fixing and getting me ready, and having my breakfast finished are all done in just an hour without fail. And this isn’t new to me. I always do this every morning I have classes or work to attend. I’m an ordinary high school girl with obvious good looks and good traits which some of my teachers had told me some time. Though, I had this nervous system that can manage to rock few times harder than a normal people’s nerves can do. No one can blame me or my nerves from behaving like this, especially those who had set putting gums on my hair and those who would do an effort to buy a mallet to get access on my locker and put some stolen garments in it as their time killers. I’m the one who should be blaming someone here for always putting me on these situations each and every day of my life in equal intensity from where I have been already and keeps on going back over and over again.

Back on reality, I pulled my door closed and put it locked for safety. (Who knows? There might be something from Mars or someone very desperate to eat something that would like to enter my house without my permission not to mention, I have neighbors who wouldn’t bother to prevent him from doing so because their fears of becoming infected). I sighed with my hands held both of the handles of my knapsack after battling with the other side of my mind.

I turned my back and started walking.

On my walk to school, I didn’t succeed averting my attention from the thoughts of the past forming on my head again. At this phase of my life you will think of me the serious type though I’m warning you, you should sit back and relax now while you still can, because next time wouldn’t be the time for you to laugh on me.

Bullying, discrimination, criticisms, and tons of chips on my shoulder, all of these had begun while I was still on pigtails.

Our family used to be as intact as rock’s molecules and unblemished like a newly engraved diamond. We used to be popular on our town though we’re not rich we have this kind of relationship that others would like to have. Until that one night of blur from where all I could remember was bits and pieces. I was barely four or five years old back then. As much as I can recall, that is the moment our parents introduced a boy of my age or even older as our adopted brother and after that the picture perfect family had gone. I’m not certain about this adopted brother actually I’ve had an accident that time too maybe it had an effect on my memories. But one thing’s clear on my mind-whatever happened that moment it isn’t the happening I would be laughing at as I remember after a long time. And in fact my family seemed to be avoiding me since then.

They talk to me, yes, but without looking straight in my eyes as if I’ve done some serious crime and was hiding on their house which just happened to be my house too. Starting from that point of time I just live my life the way I can, the way i won’t get extra curses, dick-given-names and death-defying humiliations. I just ignore people but not as harsh as they do to me to avoid big troubles. Anyway what’s the point for me to push myself on others if they don’t like me to? How could other people accept me if my own family couldn’t?

There's nothing that I can do about this but,

SIGH....

As if i have any other choice!

***

sorry for a short chapter next time ill try to make it long.

thanks for reading:)

 -working now on the next chapter..really sorry for the super late upadate

-flordelis