So...

TWO

The first few days, well the first week actually wasn't as bad as I expected. The same damn thing every damn day. I cannot express that enough. Did I mention I'm taking four AP classes this year? So yeah, it's pretty intense. I like school, I actually like to learn, it's just that some teachers are so goddamn boring. They're not assholes, they're actually pretty cool. They just don't know the concept of fun and shutting the fuck up every once in a while. Kids have a short attention span, and when you start talking about finding mx+b and the definition of connoisseurs, people kind of tend to zone out. Ask me how many times a teacher has told me find mx+b? About a thousand. Do I know how to do it? Nope. Absolutely not. First of all I suck at math. Who the hell gets math? I will never understand it and that is why I have a 70 in Algebra II. And what the hell is a connoisseur? You don't know either? Hey, there's this thing on the internet, it's called Google. Go look it up and let me know? If you don't have to Google it, good for you. You're doing something right. Help the rest of us dumbasses.

I'm not one for skipping classes. Okay, yes I have skipped a class before, but I'm not one of those that skips every day. I mean, who doesn't skip PE? I ran my mile, I'm not gonna run another one. But for some reason, I needed to do it today. I could feel the pressure of the world on me for some reason. Like everything was falling apart again. I have some of those days every once in a while. I'm not depressed or anything. Well maybe I am, I don't know. But sometimes I need a break. I'm not gonna kill myself, I swear. I just need to relax. I go to the field, the old one where nobody ever goes. Supposedly, like ten years ago, there was this big ass fire that burned the whole field right before the homecoming game. So now everyone thinks it's cursed or something so they built a new one. The old one is used for skipping class, drinking, smoking, and if you're lucky you can grab "the spot". That particular spot is where people go to have sex. It's this place deep in the woods next to the field. There's a desk back there, don't ask me why. I've been there a few times, but I just made out and smoked. I promise, no sex for me. I walk towards the bleachers. At the very top in the distance, I see someone already there. As I get closer, my heart drops and I see who it is.

I climb to the top and sit next to him. I'm just there looking out at the view. You can see houses, the highway and a part of downtown. If you're lucky and there at the right time, you can see the sunset and it looks spectacular. I've had the privilege twice, and it wasn't time wasted, I promise. We sit in silence for a while, just looking at out. It's hot outside and all I hear are the sound of our breathing. Inhale. Exhale. I feel the sun steadily rising overhead and the sweat trickling down my forehead. I silently praise myself for wearing shorts today because the longer I sit there, the hotter it gets. But I don't mind, I have 90 minutes to myself and I'll do as I please. Five minutes pass, then ten, and finally he speaks up.

"How's everything?" Well I'll be damned. The first we spoken in weeks and he mutters two words to me. I laugh. "Fine I guess. How your girlfriend? What's her name?" It was his turn to laugh. He let out a long sigh. "Clarissa, and we're fine." We sit there for another five minutes and I can't sit still. I get my backpack and pull out my candy I bought from Family Dollar last night. Candy is my weakness and I worked hard for my money. Please don't tell me what I can spend it on because ten dollars' worth of hot Cheetos, twizzlers, and soda is worth it. He laughs again and shakes his head. I get my pop rocks first, the strawberry kind, and pour them in my mouth. I feel the flavor of them seeping on my tongue and feel the "pop" of them against my mouth.

"Hey, grab them with your finger and let me lick it off of you." I did it without even thinking about it. I stuck my finger in the little package and held out for him. He grabs my hand and sticks my finger in-between his lips. I feel his tongue swirl against it and sucking the candy off. He didn't look at me, not once, and I didn't look at him either. I just poured more of them in my mouth until I finished the package. We sit there without talking, completely understanding each other I guess, through the silence. I let my head lean on his shoulder and he doesn't seem to mind and I felt him let out a long sigh, like he relaxed. "You know you don't have to act like all tough around me?" I told him, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers and gave it a squeeze. At that moment I couldn't help but think of his girlfriend again. She must do this too....lean on him. And he must grab her hand too and squeeze it like he's doing right now. I play with his hand and he doesn't seem to mind. "How was your summer?" I tried to talk to him, really. I get nervous about what to say to him. I felt him shrug, "Fine I guess. You?" I didn't answer, he knows I worked and he knows I talked to him. That's all that really happened honestly. I look at my phone, twenty minutes left. I let myself drift into sleep on his shoulder and for a while I do. I feel the sun on us both and I feel his broad shoulder on my cheek and I feel his breathing against me and I feel okay right now.

He moves a little bit, like he's shaking me to wake up. I sit up and look at him, and for the first time he actually looks me in the eye. He moves the strand of hair from my eyes and leans forward. At first I think he's gonna kiss me, and he does. Only I feel his lips land on my cheek and not connecting with mine. He pulls back though, like he was second guessing himself. I wasn't sure if I should pull him back and properly kiss him. I couldn't tell if that's what he wanted, so I didn't do it. Instead we heard the bell ring. I got up to leave and head back to class. But he stayed sitting and as I was walking away he grabbed my hand and I turned around. We just stared at each other and he squeezed my hand. We both smile at the same exact moment and we don't break the connection. But I knew I had to go. "Thank you Alex." He nods his head and let's go of my hand. I go down the bleachers and head towards the building. I considered going back and skipping 2nd period too, but I turned around, looking, and he's still there at the very top, just staring off into the city. At that moment, he looked like he didn't have a care in the world. And at that moment, I believed I didn't either.