Into the Fire

Run Free

I move away from Ben and see a hurt Cindy standing there.

"Cindy!" I say in shock.

"Don't ever talk to me again! You fucking back stabbing whore!" Cindy screams at me.

"Cindy it's not what it looks like!" I walk towards her, only to have her take a step back.

"Don't fucking go near me again,"

"Seriously Cindy just hear me out, I didn't-"

"You want to know why I'm mad?! I'm mad because at the party Ben told me he likes you! He yelled it so loud over the music that he like you! You instead of me! I hope the both of you go to hell!" She cuts me off.

I feel tears form. I see her stomp up to me and and I feel that oh so familiar hand go across my face. I stare at her, my mouth agape, lost at words.

This time Cindy didn't look shocked, it looked like she meant to do it. Meant to hurt me.

"You are not my best friend anymore," She spits and storms off.

I feel my knees give out. She's been my best friend since kindergarten. Her and I have never fought, and this is our first fight? A one ended fight for a boy?

I thought our friendship meant more to her than this. Than to let a boy get in between us.

I stare at Ben. That kiss.. It was so passionate, so long awaited.. I can't think that.

Not now, not ever, and neither can he.

I stand up and glare at Ben.

"Ben! What the hell was that?! You can't like me! You have to like Cindy! She's my best friend and because you couldn't keep that silly little crush of yours under control, she's mad at me!" I shout.

"But I can't! I really like you Veronica!" Ben shouts right back.

"You can't," I speak lowly, feeling the tears fall.

Feel his eyes on me as I turn around and walk away.

I get back home and go upstairs. My mom's not home, surprise, surprise.

I run a bath and strip down, I step into the water and sit in it as it fills up. I sit in there and cry, what has my life become? My best friend is mad at me for something that is not under my control.

I can't help that Ben thinks that he likes me. I can't help that he kissed me, or that he told Cindy that he likes me.

Why can't she understand that I had no part in this.

My relationship with my mom is gone. It's been obliterated. She hates me now that fathers gone. She's always mad at me for everything.

Home doesn't feel like home.

I can't think straight anymore, my thoughts are too clouded in my mind, that's a reason why I don't go to school anymore, I'm not smart anymore.

Time moves so fucking fast, but then it moves slow. I hate how my life turned out.

I sob really loud, no one is home so it doesn't matter. Not like my mother would care.

I sob so hard that I feel my chest and stomach ache. My heart, mind, life, my soul is broken.

Once the tub fills I turn the tap off. I lay back and close my eyes. I sink in and let my face and body go under the water.

I listen to the sound of my heartbeat, letting it calm me.

I open my eyes and watch as the water is all blurry. I close my eyes and let my mind go.

I try to forget about everything. I try to remember back to the good times.

"Daddy!" I giggle.

"Come here sweets," He speaks, laughing.

"Mommy put icing on my face!" I come running into the room.

"Awh why would she do that?" He laughs, as mommy enters behind me.

"Because it's my birthday!" I grin, jumping into his arms.

"How old are you?" He smiles at me.

"This many!" I hold up five fingers.

"How does it feel to be super old?" Mommy hands daddy a plate of cake.

"Hey, if she's super old then we must be ancient," Daddy laughs.

I suddenly feel myself choking on water as water fills up my lungs, I begin to cough up water. My parents completely ignoring it, they continue to talk.

"M-Mommy," I struggle to speak as the water keeps coming up.

I open my eyes, feeling goosebumps cover my body. I sit up and take in air. I see Ben sitting there looking worried.

"B-Ben?" I cough.

He grabs a towel and covers my naked body. I wrap myself around it and look at him.

"What happened?" I breathe.

"I came to see how you were, I called your name but you weren't answering. Your bathroom door was open and I saw you almost drown,"

"Oh, I must've dozed off," I sigh.

"Get dressed into comfy clothes and then go to sleep," Ben speaks softly.

"Please just.. don't talk to me anymore, don't come near me.. I want to patch things up with Cindy, and unfortunately you and I being friends will not help," I whisper to Ben.

"Roni no.." Ben trails off.

"Ben, we can't be friends if I want to be friends with Cindy!" I tell him, louder. "Thank you for saving my life but this is the last time you're coming over,"

Ben looks at me, his eyes showing nothing but sadness.

"I'm so sorry Ben," I mumble, looking away from him.

I suddenly feel his lips on mine, I open my eyes but soon close them as I ease into the kiss. I get on his lap and kiss him back.

I run my fingers in his hair and bite his lip gently.

He moans as he grabs my bare butt. I moan in his mouth, as I feel his tongue against mine.

I soon realize that we can't do this.

"B-Ben," I mumble as I pull away. 

I rest my forehead on his as I look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, we just.. Can't be friends,"