Jarley One-shots

Parents are Awkward (my comeback bitchez)

In which the Joker meets Harley's parents for the first time. 

___

"Harley!" The Joker's voice boomed through their house, making Harley flinch in surprise. She was upstairs in their bedroom, and the Joker was downstairs, but that didn't stop the fear from sinking into her. She stood up and tip-toed over to the hallway, already knowing why he yelled her name. 

"Uh...yes, Puddin'?" She says, with her voice slightly raised so he could here her. She walked down the staircase, seeing her psychopathic boyfriend standing there with his hands on his hips.

"Please tell me why the hell you just got a text from your Mother, saying, 'Can't wait to see you'.". He said, holding out a phone. 

Harley gasped, shocked to see that he had my phone. "Why are you snooping?!" She said, crossing her arms. "That's just as wrong!" 

"Your phone was on the counter, and your notification is very loud. You can't blame me." He says, putting 

She shrugs, before sighing. "My mom and dad made plans to...come over. You weren't supposed to know, though. I was planning on getting them to come when you were gone, so that they wouldn't get...scared." Harley said, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. 

The Joker gasped out loud, placing a hand on his chest mockingly. "How dare you? They won't get scared of me!" He says sarcastically. 

Harley chuckles, rolling her eyes. "Come on, Mr. J. You know how you can get."

"Oh, now you're on. I ain't leaving anywhere until I get to meet these parents of yours." 

She sighed again, before nodding her head in agreement. "Alright, then. But please, just promise me you won't do what you did when you met my old best friend." She pleaded, stepping closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her nose. "I cross my heart." He said, grinning widely. 

"Mhm..." 

___

Joker had his black suit pants on, and his white shirt that wasn't buttoned up a few holes on the top, showing off his perfectly sculpted chest. It was his normal attire, but it still didn't stop Harley from wanting to just fuck him senseless right then and there, even though her parents were going to arrive in a few minutes. 

Harley was wearing a simple t-shirt and some shorts, but definitely not as short as her normal ones. She didn't want to scare off her parents just like that. 

Their dinner was on the table, which was take out Chinese food. 

Delicious. 

Harley placed all the food on plates, before lighting a few plates. That's when she noticed the trunk of guns standing by the door that one of J's henchmen forgot to take away. Her eyes widened at it, before looking at the Joker. "Mr. J! The guns!" 

He looked at them, before laughing. "Ah yes! Can't forget about those." He went over and grabbed the entire chest, before taking it to the nearest storage area and stuffing it in there. "Done!"

And right on time, there was a small knock on the door. 

This is it. 

"Puddin', this is the first time I've seen them in ages! I can't screw this up!" She quickly scrambles over to the door, fixing her hair slightly, before swinging it open, a giant grin plastered onto her face. 

The two elderly couple were there with just as big of a smile as Harley, as the three nearly screamed when they saw each other. "Harleen! Oh how it's so amazing to see you!" Her mother said, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her as if it were the end of the world. Her dad did the same. 

"I know, momma! I can't believe we actually got a chance to see each other!" As the three were standing there, she finally remembered that she had to invite them in. "Come in, please." Letting them in, she took their coats off and hung it on the hanger, beside a very famous purple coat. 

They looked around, scanning the area, before their eyes met the Joker's. 

Her dad's eyes widened, before yelling out, "It's the Joker, run!" Before scrambling out the door, his wife following suit. Although they stopped once they realized Harley wasn't following them. Cautiously walking back inside, her dad glanced at Harley in confusion. 

"Uh, daddy, momma, meet my boyfriend." She said, awkwardly smiling, and wrapping an arm around his waist. 

"I thought that name was reserved for me!" J said, pouting mockingly. 

Her parents just stood there in shock, their mouths forming an 'o' shape. "T-this is who you live with?" Her dad asks, completely and utterly disgusted and shocked. 

"Yup. He's really fun, trust me. The news just shows the bad..." Harley says, looking at the murderer beside her with a huge grin. 

___

The awkwardness hadn't failed to stay, even as they were eating their now cold Chinese food. Everyone awkwardly chewed their food, not knowing what to say or do. Finally, her dad broke the silence. 

"So, where do work now, Harleen?" He says, clearing his throat. 

"Harley." The Joker says, looking at him with stern eyes. 

The old man looked at Joker, confused at what he said. "Excuse me?"

"Her name is Harley, there is no more Harleen in her, thanks to me." He said with a proud grin, putting a hand on her thigh.

"Um...yeah, my name is Harley now..." She says, biting her lip. 

Her dad glances at her mother, before nodding. "Okay, Harley. What do you work as?" 

"Well, Mr. J and I own a club, so I work there as a...manager." She says, smiling, before stuffing her mouth with some food. 

"Oh yes, she sure does enjoy her job as...managing." Mr. J says, leaning back in his chair. 

Her dad nods again, clearly picking up that something is not right here. "Well that's...nice. What do you two normally do?"

"Have se-"

"Second thoughts about our poor lifestyle choice!" Harley cut off the Joker, already knowing what he was planning on saying. 

"Right... do you take good care of my daughter?" 

"Oh yes, very...good care. And she takes good care of me as well." He says with a wink, biting his lip.

They both made a repulsed face, looking away.

___

"We are never doing that again!" Harley says after she shuts the door, finally ending that incredibly long and awkward situation.

"You and me both." J says, slumping to the couch. "How about you and I have some wine, get drunk then fuck for a lil' bit?" He says, wiggling his nonexistent eyebrows.

Harley let's out a defeated laugh, nodding her head. "Sure can do."

___

Hey guys!!

Oh my god I'm back! It feels so good to be writing a chapter for this book. I may or may not have decided that I will update this book, but every now and again.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know in the comments.

And also don't forget to stop by at my other Joker book, "Life Is Hard"! I'm incredibly proud of it 😁

Comment, share and vote away!

-N
___