Never Say Goodbye

I'm Okay

Gabby POV

The flames are out. The rest of Truck 81 and Squad 3 are inside looking for survivors. It's just me and Brett, but I feel alone. No updates. No chatter over the radio. No good news. No bad news.

Nothing. 

The numbness consumes me like I'm drowning in it. My eyes fixed on the entrance. After what feels like hours, I see the thing my eyes have been searching for. But he's not moving, Boden and Tony are carrying him out. He looks...lifeless. I want to run but my feet can't move. I watch as Boden locks eyes with Severide while he walks from the building. He shakes his head. I can't breath. The numbness comes yet again, and I'm drowning. Deeper and deeper and deeper...

I shoot up in bed. That same dream for about the 100th time since the warehouse fire. I look over at the clock. 3:24 A.M. I almost got 2 hours of sleep, not to bad. One things for sure, I'm not going back to sleep tonight. I take a glance to my left to see my husband, alive and well, sleeping next to me. I watch his chest rise and fall slowly to push the thought of his lifeless body from my mind. He's breathing, he's here, I repeat in my head nonstop. After watching him for almost 20 minutes, I am able to breath. Shift starts in a little over 4 hours so I might as well start getting ready now. I roll out of bed and quietly step to the door, keeping my eyes on Matt to make sure he doesn't wake up.

*****

Matt POV

I quickly turned off my 6 A.M. alarm to avoid waking up Gabby, hoping she would actually be in bed today. Not to my surprise, I roll over to an empty bed...again. I frowned to myself. She hasn't been the same since the warehouse fire, always up before the sun, doing whatever she can to keep herself busy. I slowly roll out of bed and walk out to the kitchen, where Gabby is organizing the dishes in the cabinets. 

"Morning babe" I say, walking up behind my wife and planting a kiss on the side of her head.

"Morning." she replies in the same quiet voice that I have come to expect.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I just didn't sleep great last night."

"When did you get up this morning?"

"Really Matt, I'm okay." she turned to me and managed a smile. " I'm going to shower before work."

I watched her walk back towards our room and disappear through the doorway. 

*****

Gabby POV

I really need to talk to Matt about my problems. I mean, that's what marriage is, right? Yet every time I think I'm finally going to tell him everything, I freeze and say that I'm fine. I turn on the shower and step inside, hoping that it will wash away the thoughts in my head.

I pull on my shirt and took a quick look in the mirror. Leaving the bathroom I catch a glimpse at the time, 7:30 A.M.

"Matt! We have to go!"

"Way ahead of you"

Of course he is. I turn the corner to see him already standing at the door, with both of our bags and the keys to the car. I can't help but laugh at his stupid smile, his bright blue eyes staring into mine as he puts his arm around me and guides me out the door. Its amazing how even the smallest moments can light up someone's whole day.

"Morning you two!" Hermann yelled from the other side of the locker room.

"Morning Hermann" Matt replies with a smile.

We split up and walk to our lockers. I open mine and see a small, white paper fall out:

Come to the roof

I can't help but smile as I drop my stuff and go to the back of the house, where I see the ladder leading up to the top of the building.

"I wasn't sure you would actually come up here!" Brett sounded relieved.

"Sure" I smirk, "Well now that I'm up here, what do you need?"

"I just thought I would check in." I could tell by her tone what she was trying to say.

"About?"

"Gabriela Dawson I'm not an idiot."

"Excuse me?" I was shocked to hear Brett snap like that.

"Look, I'm sorry, but you told me yourself that you've been spinning out since Casey said goodbye to you. I thought we had talked about telling this to HIM, not me, and you said you would. That was 2 weeks ago!" 

"I was going to, and then... I just couldn't. I want to! I want to so bad, but I can't. And I just-"

"Gabby, you are my best friend. I hate to see you in this situation, and I wish I was the one that could help you, but I'm not. Casey is and you need to talk to him. Soon, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, let me know how it goes." 

"Hey, um..." I turned around, and Brett was already halfway down the ladder.

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Hey!

This is my first time trying to write fanfiction, so it might not turn out as well as I hope.

I am going to try to keep up with this and update as much as I can!

Hope you like it so far!

-AW-