Prologue
Realizing that something is gone hurts a lot especially if you don't want to let go.Life is a bitch and we all no that, yeah it hurt a ll of us but that's how life is. It's better to not get attach to people because they always leave but you'll never forget them. Thats how i feel about what im going through, Life took something that i really care about and i hate that because i dont know what to do. Now im here trying to make him reconsider things but i guess thats not enough. Supposedly god takes something apart so a better thing can come together and i had always believe in that but now im not sure if i should. I know i wont get someone better then him because to me no one can replace him. He's the only one i want and no body else. I guess life had other plans for us, but i wonder why it had to be us.
It hurts like hell to not have him. I know things won't be the same anymore. There won't be no late night texts, no more FaceTime. What hurts more is that i wont be able to say how much i love hm when deep inside im dying to tell him. I wish this would be so easy so i can forget about him and our memories. I dont know what to do without him. I just wish things wouldnt be like this but i guess thats how life wanted it to be. I never thought i would feel like this. I just didnt thought it would hurt this much to let go. As much as i try, the tears always come out. i know he loves me as much i do but this distance is killing both of us. I just never thought i would loose him. Sometimes i think i can be strong enough to let go but the problem isnt letting go, the problem is that im too weak to let go of something i love.
Theres a saying that says to let of something you love and if it comes its yours but if it doesnt it was never meant to be. We had let go a lot of times and we always go back to each other, so that means we were meant to be right ? I always try to think like that but at the end it seems like its the opposite. I wish i could have him back, for him to belong to me again. I just wish none of this was happening. I dont know what to do now, that i dont have him with me. Sometimes i wish things would change and us to be together again. Just us like it always has.
I always try to imagine us together again but then i remember we arent.That kills me even more, to know that everything is gone now. Its hard to let go knowing that i still love him and that a year and two months together meant everything to me. I love him a lot and its not that easy to let go. How can i let go of something that means the world to me ? How am i supposed to be the same without him here ?
