Good Morning

Walking down a street one day,
I was enjoying myself.
No one knew my name,
My life, my name,
My eyes with what I see
And I was okay with that.
I was free from everything.
Free from every chain,
Any sort of wiring
That held me down the week prior.

What I didn't know
Put me into a deep spiral.
Someone who knew me
Walked down that same street,
That same day, that same time,
And greeted me with a smile.
I wasn't sure what to do,
So I gave a wave.
Little did I know,
That was a big mistake.

My heart was pounding,
My head was thumping,
Every fiber of my skin was crawling.
Luckily, I was wearing a coat.
They wouldn't have been able to see,
But they were finally in front of me.
What were they going to say?
What am I going to do?
What if I ruin their day?
They said, "Good morning."

How do I say it?
Do I just say that too?
Think, idiot, think.
Think 'cause you only
Have less than a second.
Oh, wait, too late.
Time's up, so now say it.
Just breathe and think,
And think and breathe.
It can't be that hard, right?

I say, "Good morning."
They move fast and take their turn.
"How have you been," they ask.
That's the one thing that got me.
How can I say what's been going on?
How do I say this happily?
And most important of all,
How do I convince them?
The air was hard to breathe.
How did I not notice it was sour?

Should I even be thinking this?
I'm just a freaking teen!
Why am I thinking
Like I should be all song-and-sing
Not skinny, lonely, and depressing.
Even more so to trying
To figure what the heck I should be saying
Right after someone just says, "Good morning."
Am I really not okay?
Should I even be thinking this?

Why does this always happen?
I'm not the happy social butterfly.
I'm not the brave class clown.
I'm not the A+ honor roll.
I'm not a good person.
They shouldn't have to deal with me.
They don't need to know what I see.
But it's not normal not being happy right?
I know what I have to do.
It's a simple one, two, three.

They wave at me again,
"Hey, are you okay?"
Let's do it and win that Oscar.
Show them you're alright.
You've done it for 5 years, right?
"Honestly? I've never been better."
Now THAT was clever, idiot.
A simple conversation started.
I wish it finally ended.
All of it, wait, what did I think?

I shouldn't be depressed.
I need to find help, but how?
Do I do it tomorrow now?
Should I talk about here or there?
Why do I wonder all these hows, whens, and wheres?
I should just do it, like that one guy.
Just. Do. It.
But no, I shouldn't
Make people drown in my sea of problems.
No, no more shoulds I've run out of those.

They started walking the other way,
towards the darkness and snow.
Just do. Only Do. I can't let them go south.
All that light that I had is running out,
So if you don't say it now,
You're going to drown in the sea.
And maybe, just maybe, you'll finally see
that water, snow, and your overthinking
isn't all that you're meant to be.
"Hey," I said,"can I talk to you about something?"