DILIGITIS // King Alpha

Chapter 24

' regrets '

Part One

My whole body felt rigid and awful, not even Aris could make it feel better. He held me close to him for a few more minutes, before quickly dressing himself and running out of the room. Only moments later Catalina, Mia and Heather walked in. 

They helped me get dressed, while I seemed to have slipped into a state of shock. I couldn't seem to focus on anything, not my friend's kind words nor about Aris standing in the door opening, looking at me worriedly. 

They took me back to my own room, where they peeled his shirt off of me and instead dressed me in a grey, woollen sweater. Catalina came back with a bucket of hot water and some washcloths, and started to work on cleaning out the wound. It stung every time she touched it, but I did not say a word about it. 

"I feel awful." Was the first thing I managed to say, surprising my friends. Mia was, as always, the first to find her voice again. She knelt down in front of me, they had put me on one of the chairs, and grabbed my hand in hers. 

"Markings aren't supposed to happen between werewolves and humans." She said. "The king knows this. It is already heavy on the woman when she is a werewolf, let alone on a human."

"We should take her to the doctor." Heather offered up, but was quickly shot down by Mia. 

"He only treats wolves, he wouldn't know what to do with her." She said. She continued to hold my hand as Catalina cleaned out the wound. I hadn't dared to look at it yet, I was too overwhelmed by everything else. 

I felt so much pain and heartbreak inside of me, I wanted it to stop. I wasn't angry or anything myself, his emotions had completely taken over mine. "Put a bandage over it." I told Catalina. 

"It's best to let it air out first." Catalina countered. I knew it would be for the best, but I needed it to be covered. Aris would only hate himself if he saw it.

"Put a bandage over it." I said again. Catalina went back into the bathroom and came back with the first aid kit Aris had laughed at so often. He thought it was the pinnacle of the human race, being so weak that you need to rely on pills and ointments to survive. 

She put a dressing over the wound itself, and wrapped a bandage around my neck to keep it in place. She made sure it wasn't too tight though. I rose up from my chair, immediately the girls were all around me, supporting me.

"It's fine." I told them. "Go have breakfast."

"Your grace, even wolves need some time to recover after the marking." Heather said. She had never really gotten used to calling me by my first name. "You should lie down."

"I have to see him first." I countered. I took a few steps on my own. I felt wobbly, and truth be told I wasn't entirely sure I would make it to his room, but as always my mind won over my body. It told me to hurry the fuck up and stop whining. 

They reluctantly let me go. Going to his room from mine would usually only take about two or three minutes, but I felt like I had been walking for hours. The walls were turning around me, and I sought their help whenever I could reach it. Finally, I reached the hallway that let to his room.

"Aris." I said. The door opened without me knocking yet again. I was faced by a worried Aris, yet again. 

"Where are your handmaidens?" He asked me, glancing over my shoulder. I could tell he was more than distraught. He looked me over frantically, his eyes landing on the bandage.

"I told them to have breakfast." I said, and took a few steps forward. He instantly stepped out of my way and allowed me to enter his room. 

It was nothing like it had been when I left it. There were wooden splinters all over the floor, books were laying face down and by the looks of it he had thrown a vase against the wall. "Aris." I sighed. My eyes were begging me to shut them, even if it was just for a few moments. It didn't even seem like my plan was working either. Seeing me only made him feel worse. 

I was quiet for a few seconds, staring back into his golden, eyes. It hurt me to see him in pain, and I could feel so much of it. My own emotions were easier to focus on now that I saw him in person.

"We are mates." I said to him. "I feel that you are hurting. I want it to stop."

He pressed his palm against the bandage, his thumb stroking my jaw. "How are you feeling?" He asked me. His eyes were solely focused on mine. 

"You know how I am feeling." I rolled my eyes at him. I placed my hand over his, hoping that I had the same calming effect on him that he had on me. "What happened?" 

He guided me to his bed, but didn't sit next to me. Instead, he knelt down in front of me, with my hand in his. It may seem like a small thing, but I had learned enough etiquette lessons to know that this is major. Kneeling was showing you are lower than the person you are kneeling for. Aris was the king, he should never kneel 

"Tomorrow is the full moon." He said. "I knew it effected you too, that you would finally want me." I wanted to cut in, but he wouldn't let me. "I thought I could control myself, but suddenly I wasn't just thinking about you. I thought about how you could leave me, how you didn't share what I felt. I... I lost it. I wanted to make sure you could never leave my side, that you felt how I was feeling."

"I don't want to leave you." I said. "I never did."

I could feel that it made him happier, but it was still like lighting a match in a the middle of rain shower. He rested his forehead against my knee, mumbling more apologies. It was odd to see him like this. He was always the big, scary king. Never the man with regrets.