I am alone or am I?

What do you do when the world ignores you and encloses you in emptiness and loneness? Khad is the lonely shadow that nobody takes notice off, she is the faint figure that a bored eye glimpses and disregards very quickly.

An orphan from the tender age of 5, Khad remembers nothing of human compassion, love or the warmth of a smile. She has learnt to live without, she has survived, now she lives a strange quiet live in a secluded temple on the cliffs of Hum Valley. She is content and even possibly happy. One dark night her simplicity is disrupted and her world turned upside down. She is forced to face her worst nightmare, the reason for her loneliness.

This is a story of true self worth and finding that true self to continue to live. 

Chapter 1

The wind is revengeful tonight; it keeps tearing my coat and sipping through my clothing into my skin making me regret working late tonight. I felt the greedy hands of the cold wind caressing my skin, making me walk slower than usual. An image of a warm fire and a steaming cup of tea is a guide home as I stumble across the wet unthreaded path to my home in the Cliffs of Hume Valley. Every night I take this path and never missed a step but here I was falling and tripping tonight. I am cold but no more than usual during October. I felt weak, fragile and vulnerable. Shit, I felt the pain creeping in as my body battled the cold. The whispers came slowly and taunted me. ‘You’re alone, alone, nobody sees or cares you exist’..

Another 2 miles and I’ll be home. Just keep walking Khad. I reassured myself. Just keep walking. It was a full moon, I signed. Tonight the pull will be stronger.

Khad Anwell was no ordinary young woman. She was not afraid, she walked with strong determined steps cutting across the tresses and rock plains to reach her destination. She drew a deep breath and fought the dark thoughts. ‘I am fine alone.’ She quietly reminded it. You will not break me down.

She signed when her small modest home came into view against a brutal sky showing the signs of a storm burning across the ocean.  Wrapping her coat tightly across her person she ran the short distance, opening her door quickly relief and warmth overwhelming her, she stepped into her stone temple house.

She discovered this sweet place 6 years ago, as she escaped a big messy party held at her doom room by her room-mate. Khad’s room-mate never acknowledged her or asked for her advice when holding a party, it was always a surprise and it made Khad very uncomfortable. 

That particular night she tried to stay and enjoy herself. She has not tried the whole socializing scene since high school and felt stronger that night. She felt a strong crave to me near people, to talk. She got dressed, drank some warm alcohol to calm her nerves and attempted to start slowly.

 The first person she tried to talk to was a girl from her sport class, a meek quiet girl. She seemed save enough.

 ‘Hi ’ Khad smiled as she controlled her breathing, waiting for the cool look of indifference and the short eye contact.

 ‘Hi’ replied the girl. Khad breathed out and went to replied when the girl walked pass her, forgetting Khad was there. Khad did this 5 times, each time either ignored or looked at but not seen, before she lost her nerves and went to her room to change her clothing and drove to Hume Valley.

  It was past midnight when she got there but she felt more free and comfortable then at her doom room with her class peers.

This was easier, nature was welcoming and it never turned away from her. It accepted her. It was full moon, she could see clearly. She had better vision then most, some might say unhuman like.That night she climbed and walked till sunrise. It was at the moment of sunrise she looked down the cliff she was resting on and saw the building near the bottom. It was made out of wood and stone and blended into the cliff face. It wasn’t hidden but it looked like it belonged there. It hit her instantly, it was home.

The following week Khad cleaned out the building, and moved in leaving behind her inconsiderate room-mate and fellow students.   She never felt so much freedom and excitement in discovering her ‘home’. She felt she belonged and was washed over with pure delight and happiness.