AMOR

3. Falling

North of Hearts

He felt a raindrop fall against his skin,
followed by several others, but he didn't have the heart to go inside.

All of Roy's belongings had been shifted to the king's chambers and right next to it was his butler, Sebastian's room. Sharing the same balcony that overlooked the palace gardens and Princess Victoria's terrace.

Three days had passed and every night he would come here and wait to see his princess stand near the edge of the railing.

She never lifted her gaze up and was always left unaware of Sebastian standing at the far end, admiring her. Falling in love with her, more and more with every moment that passed by. It wasn't just her beauty that captivated his mind. It was her kindness, the softness in the way she spoke. The pureness of her heart.

His hands gripped the railing tight, not sure how to make her see the truth.

The news had traveled fast, about the princess' engagement to the coin master's son. But the nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach. His head swam with half-formed regrets. Maybe, just maybe if he'd been born in a different family. Had a better last name, things would've been so different.

Sebastian's heart felt as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat.

He knew he'd done something pretty awful when he had to work so hard to justify it. How dare he think of a princess like that? He was nothing. An orphan, a slave. Nothing compared to her.

The guilt sat not on his chest but inside his brain. What he had done he could not un-do. He could make amends in subtle ways, but confession was out of the question. Or was it? Did he not owe it to himself to at least try?

He closed his dull grey eyes, a sigh passing through his parted lips, causing his breath to fog up in front of him, obscuring his vision. He couldn't stop his hands from trembling, was it the cold rain or his aching heart, he didn't know.

~

Three days since Sean was brought into the palace. No one asked for his name, where he came from. His existence held no value. But he didn't feel any different. What he did find different was that no one in this place liked reverends or popes. Everyone hated even the thought of religion and all they cared about was their beloved King Roy. Sean hated his very existence.

Did he want to go back, though? Did he want to take back his wish? Was this really worse than getting married and having a good life? There it is, a good life.

No matter where he went, be it the North, The South, The Sea, The Village, there was no happy ending. Because in reality, he didn't exist. There was no Sean. Only the reverend's son. And now that he was here in a completely different world where no one cared about his sir name, he was supposed to fight for a king he hated with every fiber of his being.

He was worried about Katarina. He wanted to find out where his sister was. Was she even alive? Was his father alive? Did they care that he was gone? Did they even notice that he wasn't around anymore? Did he actually want them to find him? The worst part was that he didn't even miss his own father. He didn't want to end up back home.

~

Three torturous days. All Roy could think about were those blue eyes. Why? Just why? He needed it to stop. He couldn't think, couldn't function without wanting to get one more look at the boy. This is madness.

The coronation was in a few days, people were already calling him king, a girl was going to be presented to him tonight and he was supposed to sleep with her. But the only thing occupying his mind was the softness to those eyes, there was something so welcoming. Roy felt just a little more lost, a little more at home, each time he thought of them.