What a Terrible Mess

Chapter 30

"Harry, why did you do that on the porch, if you don't mind my asking?" Draco asked, standing at the bathroom door. Lord Thronton had been nuts, but lavish and rich- each bedroom in the house was really a sort of suite, with it's own bathroom. Draco was mildly excited to get everything cleaned and ready. Harry emerged from the bathroom,dressed for bed and a shy smile on his face, and he shrugged,

"I don't know, Draco, I just... wanted to. I told you, I find you attractive."

"In my Veelan form?!" Draco asked, following Harry to the bed he'd cleaned and climbing in. Harry scooted closer to him, practically draping himself around the blonde. He nodded sleepily,

"Yeah Dray- it's still you... just a more vicious you, I guess- is that weird?"

"No, it's not weird. Harry?"

"Hmmm?"

"What was your other condition?" Harry grew stiff and pulled back, untangling himself. He was awake now, eyes wide. Draco became concerned that he'd somehow offended the raven haired teen. "I'm sorry, Harry, you just want to talk about it later?" Then he could hear Harry's heart beat quickening, could feel the tension.

"I uh... could you put that light out?" Harry stammered, gesturing to the glowing orb next to the bed they'd used to navigate the room. Draco nodded, whispering a nox, and they were in complete darkness again.

"Harry- we don't have to talk about this, we can go to sleep and discuss it later..." Harry was even more nervous now, he seemed panicked and Draco could sense it, "...or not at all. Harry? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing, nothing." Harry stammered again, clearing his throat. He slid closer to Draco, stiffly wrapping his arm around him.

"Harry?" Draco asked, feeling the tension in his bondmate's warm body.

"Oh Draco, be quiet, you're making me more nervous- quit it."

"But- Harry- I just- mmph." Harry covered the blonde's mouth in a tentative kiss.

"You said... you said you loved me right?"

"Yes, Harry, of course."

"And you want me?" Harry asked, relaxing. Draco growled and Harry grinned, "so... I can do whatever I want? Say whatever I want?" Draco nodded again, his head on Harry's shoulder.

Harry turned and pulled Draco to him, his heart seeming to thump even louder in Draco's ears. "Just don't... don't say anything...unless you want me not to... I have something to say," Harry paused but Draco didn't speak, "You've done a lot for me, Draco. I don't think I'm quite ready to do this bonding... bondmate thing. I'm not ready for sex. I've been thinking about it and while I don't know if I'm gay or... whatever, I do know that you turn me on. Pretty badly. I... uh... I like you a lot. I'm not ready for sex, I hope you can understand that. Though, I think I could be, one day... I just wanted you to know... and that I like you. I love the way you hold me, and I love that you're protective- though, you drive me nuts with it. On the train... I thought you were dead," Harry sobbed a bit, but when Draco reached for him, he pulled back, "I'm not finished, let me finish. On the train, I just... I don't know. I wanted you to come back, to hold me and laugh with me. I thought of all the things we haven't even shared yet... I want to give you that chance..." Harry paused again to wipe his face with his sleeve, "I wanted you to just come back in, and kiss me... I'm so sorry I hit you- I've never been so bloody happy and so angry at the same time... I've never... felt this way about anyone, Draco. I don't even think I realized it fully till Regina said you were pretty and smelled of me. I told her... that you were fetching, that you smelled of me because you were mine... I just, geez, I don't know why I can't get it together here, Draco," he was trembling now, "I wanted to thank you again. Not for saving me and my friends, or Dumbledore, or any of that... just for, for genuinely being there for me- for persistantly wanting to know me, and not The Bloody Boy Who Lived. You don't seem to care about any of that and it's refreshing... just, let me do this? No further- can you do that?"