Captain, the Ship Appears to be Sinking

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Chapter One

Captain, the Ship Appears to be Sinking

~.~.~.~

Yearning was not a foreign sensation, nor was it ever wanted. Thoughts of family (of missed birthdays and graduations and fun and laughter and life) drifted through his mind at moments where they were not needed. Laying a hand on Pidge's shoulder whilst beating down a boss caused his mouth to droop downward as memories of a younger –smiling, always smiling- brother swarmed him. Feeling free as he flew through the air, Blue humming in joy alongside him, made him sigh with nostalgia of an elder sibling -eyes so kind and knowing- swinging him through the air.

However, they, his family, were safe. He made sure no harm would come to them -always checking the star system to check their color change, and lo and behold, he has not yet failed in steering danger away from their direction.

But something was wrong.

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

With the short amount of time the paladins had been together, Lance felt they had grown closer as the feeling of death around every corner crept in on all sides. Because of this, it was not long for Lance to feel that they were becoming like family- people able to come together and make the best memories (of flying, of food fights, of life) and yet-

This makeshift family had already been broken because-

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

He couldn't help but feel responsible. That was maybe irrational, yes. Dumb, probably; however, feelings of inadequacy never failed to cling to him and bring him further down into the depths of sadness. This was not only due to thoughts of regret (if only he shot more, if only he flew faster, if only –he could have been the one to be taken-) but also something he was ashamed to admit.

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

But Lance didn't feel that rippling pain of his heart being taken with him. He was never that close to Shiro, compared to the relationship between Pidge and Shiro or Shiro or Keith, and a part of him couldn't help but feel envious to those who were tightknit to his hero- the legend (the Champion). That's not to say he didn't feel the loss of presence or the sadness. To the contrary, the lack of command (the robot without its head), the loss of stability, and the absence of calm only allowed for a big dish of anxiety to be served to Lance because-

Shiro was not safe.

Shiro was gone.

And he took so much with him, leaving only confusion and weeping hearts.

Lance tried to fill that gap. Not to replace Shiro (was that even possible? Lance had always been following the backs of those better than him –Shiro, Keith- but to even think Lance could take command was laughable) or anything, but seeing Pidge drill themselves into a chair with fingers glued onto keys and eyes that were more red than white nowadays hurt. Watching Hunk fiddle with trinkets or different recipes wasn't as exciting anymore as steady hands were replaced with shaking ones. Allura didn't seem to feel the loss so much (What was one life compared to her entire race?); however, Lance could spot the far off look, the dazed expression of not knowing where to go from here. Coran tried his best; he was still the loud and warm man they all enjoyed but his happiness could not catch all of the tears their hearts had shed. And one person seemed to shut down and crumble the most. Long gone was the Keith of instinct. He seems to have been replaced with a robot only good to train and only programmed with one feeling: anger.

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