DICE

The brick wall is cracking

"........gorgeous"

That word is unrealistic
That word was never mine to keep
But now
It's mine to keep forever
I would never describe myself as 'gorgeous'
And no one else ever described me as 'gorgeous'
However I am called
Scary
Fake
Ugly
Mean
Rude
Disrespectful
Bitch
That list goes on forever. I built my brick wall with those words. My brick wall hides a lot from others, but I have a feeling that host is going to be the one who climbs over.
Before that happens though
I'll keep building that

Brick
Wall
That
Hides
Me
From
Others

One side of the stacked bricks is calm, edgy, efficient, cold -the outside of me. The other side- my mind- is corrupted, broken, vicious, mean, depressed-Gone.

Push him out
Run away
You're not worth it
I don't blame him if he gave you up
Keep building that brick wall
IF HE GETS THROUGH ITS ALL OVER
this is all your fault

My head's screaming.

Give up

The voices

Give up

Tell me

Die

What's best

Kill yourself.

And I always complete there demands

My eyes widen as I heard host's unexpected response. He stared at me like I was never seen before. Different. Gorgeous. Did I hear even hear him right? He keeps his hands cupped around my face.
"I'm not lying kid. Your eyes are amazing, it's like Sun and earth. Your hair to, I have never seen a young persons hair naturally white. The way you dress is different than most girls- in a good way of course. And your personality is....... is astonishing."
Stop
YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING
STOP
"S-STOP IT! Y-YOUR GOING TO BREAK IT! I SPENT SO LONG BUILDING IT UP- IT CAN JUST ALL FALL OVER NOW"  I shove him back and grab at my hair.
Up up up clay~ your letting out a little to much
Hush now or he'll find out
You know what will happens if he does, don't you?
It's game over

I fall to my knees

" kid what are you saying? " Host's voice sounds concerned. My fingers dig into my sides. I'm shaking uncontrollably.

I want to die

"I'm okay. Sorry." I mumble out and stand up. Host knits his eyebrows "what was I going to break?" He asks. " nothing, I was only rambling. Forget it happened. I can treat my own wounds. " I pick up my back and find what I'm looking for. Washcloth, water, and bandage.I clean the blood off with the wet washcloth and cover it with the large white bandage.
"C'mon the bus is here" i say as we walk to the opening bus doors.we sit down together in the back as usual. There's a few people here to, an elderly lady, guy who looks like he sells drugs, a guy who looks like he buys those drugs, and a woman with her young child. Personally I'm don't get the point of having kids. They are annoying, smelly, rude, and cost a lot  of money.
" Host, what would happen to the powers if a person who uses dice had a child? " I asked.
"Why do you ask? You're not pregnant are you?!"
" fuck no! I'm just curious! "
"Okay, okay. Well the power would most likely not be past on because the dice powers aren't naturally occurring. It's like if a mother died her hair and then had a kid, the hair color is not genetic, so the kid won't have that hair color."
I guess that makes sense.

We rode the bus till it was 3:52 we stepped off the bus and looked around. The street was dead, no cars coming either way. The road side wasn't filled with stores like normal, but rather houses and what I think was a school. I followed host as we walked down the sidewalk. I hear odd noises coming from the street, like an animal that was hurt. It is an animal.  I realize that there is a small animal in the middle of the street, crying out for help. It's hurt. I run to the street to help.
"H-hey kid what are you doing-"
"Th-the cat got hit. I want to save it. Please just let me do this and then we'll be on our way okay?"
A thin frail black cat lays in a small pool of red liquid. Blood. It's breathing is quick and shallow. I scoop up the small four legged body and bring it to the sidewalk.
"Please don't die"  I mumble under my breath. I had a 'soft spot' for cats let's just say. I check it's pulse, it's there but barley.
I've done something like this before.

Yes clay you have, glad you remember. It was that dying man you tried to save and failed~
Your fault he died
But it's not like you have the mind to feel guilty about killing someone
Your fault
Your fault
Your fault
YOU KILLED A MAN AND DON'T EVEN FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT
YOUR PSYCHOTIC

The voices remind me of my sins. Screaming the things I've done wrong and whispering the things I should have done, but didn't. I know this cat isn't a human but it still deserves to live. Unlike some humans.  I glance behind me to see host.
"How are you going to-"
"Host you need you to listen carefully and answer me directly. Our powers, do they  allow  our body's to take more harm than average?" I ask
" yes, the powers give us almost a small percentage of a gods power. Especially you, honestly you are a god. "  Host answers.
" Okay. Now hand me the knife now. " I say. He hands me the small silver knife.
" this may hurt " I say as I flip the blade up. If I can give this cat, at least a little, of my blood it will be able to withstand the damage. I slit a cut into my arm, near my wrist but not so close I'll pass out from blood loss. The red liquid drips onto the cats abdomen area.
The cats legs start to twitch, good. It's eyes open to reveal a brilliant green. Black fur green eyes. It seems like magic- a cat coming back to life. After about 45 seconds the cat sits up and looks around. Shit-it actually worked. Transfer my blood that can withstand a car accident into a cat to make the cat have a higher stamina. The cat seems perfectly fine.
"How did you?" Host is in aw. I don't blame him I literally just revived the dead.
" I'll explain later but first let's get going. I told you we would go when I was done. " I say. Host nods and we walk down the sidewalk.
A few minutes pass before I feel something brush against my leg. I look down. The cat. Apparently the cat likes me. "Go away, you can't come with me"
The cat meows back almost like he understands me. "Piss off!" I nudge the cat away. Nothing happens. " if you want to keep it you can" host says. I glare between him and the cat. Hmmm........ . I kneel down to the cat and make eye contact. " I'll keep you if you promise not to bite me" no response. Obviously it doesn't respond, it's a cat. I look at host to see a reassuring facial expression. I sigh. "Fine. I'll name you...... hmm........ Sin." I say and scoop up the small cat. " interesting name" host says.
"whatever"

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So what do you think about clay keeping the cat?
I hoped you enjoyed!
Comment what you think of the story so far! What do you think will happen next? Who knows~
If something doesn't make sense to you  or you have any questions, please ask!
Thanks for reading DICE!

1301 words