All in My Head

Why am I Like This?

Here I am, sitting with everyone yet sitting in silence. It's all the people I care about, yet why am I so afraid? Why am I so quiet?

Why am I like this?

They are the people that I love, yet I feel so unloved. Are they better off without me?

I want to speak, and be part of the conversation. I do have things to say, but who will listen? Will they listen?

I hate myself for overthinking. How do I stop? Can anyone help me?

Why am I like this?

God, I just want to be able to add to the conversation. What if I screw up my words? What if they judge me? Maybe I'm too weird for them. Perhaps they'd rather I wasn't there.

They'd be better off without me anyways. I'm a waste of that small space we sit at. It takes me forever to catch on about what we are talking about. If I were gone, time would be saved and people won't have to explain everything to me anymore.

I'm sorry that I'm such a mess. I'm sorry I can't use my voice. I'm sorry I don't understand.

While I sit with my best friends and the people that I care about the most, I will still always put on a smile but wonder why I'm like this.