Red Insanity

Chapter 7: School

School. It's one of those words that has so many different meanings. It can be a prison, a paradise, an opportunity to meet friends, and a nightmare. To me, school was a gate. And that gate led to a better life. To me, it was not a paradise, nor a prison or nightmare.

By the time I began elementary school, I was still struggling to control my.....tendencies. I still liked to violently tear things to pieces, to say the least. Which to clarify, still indubitably scared the hell out of my mother. No matter how many times she whipped me, I was still happy. Still unfazed. I think school was also a way for her to get rid of me for a day.

And I was not a mastermind child that could cook up elaborate schemes. I didn't know what "killing" was or rather did not understand it. Maybe if I had known, my life wouldn't have been so screwed from the beginning.

(I'll zoom to 3rd grade, because even I can't remember that far back)

1st person:

By this time, I was far beyond masculine in my family. Seeing as girls struck a higher value, I wore skirts to school. Mother even gave me a wig. Pigtails and a pink dress....my my this stereotype is vicious. Instead of being driven to school, I was forced to take the bus.

Bullying is an interesting offense....In some cases easy to stop and in others quite difficult. Being rendered a girl when I was obviously a boy never left me far from the grip of laughter. The sky was as bright as my mood. Foggy. I smelled the bus before my eyes caught it. Oddly enough the smell of gasoline is attractive to me as well as wet paint. A combination of unhealthy tastes.

The sidewalk was slippery and the atmosphere gloomy. A perfect day in my book. I clutched the straps of my backpack, preparing for the onslaught. Gritty water came flying to soak me as the bus halted. I didn't complain. The bus driver was Mr. Sally, an old bag of bones who looked like he'd crawled from the grave only yesterday. A shell of human in both humanity and life.

"Get on maggot."

The affirmitiveness of his voice suggested possible service in one of the wars but no one really noticed nor cared. I slipped into my pathetic mode and lost my eyes of gleaming yellow.

"Ey sissy!"

I turned my fearful gaze to Rickard, the main suspect clothed in his usual shirt and shoes. He tossed a milk carton at my face. I would've dodged it but I have a part to play. The milk dripped over the fresh puddle water and made my dress turn brown as manure.

"Go back to sissy school, sissy!"

Such simple insults and such loss of mind. I continued down the aisle, seeing a foot and making an effort to trip. The effort was successful and I fell face first into a melted lollipop. Giggles echoed throughout the bus.

"Rier. Down."

Mr. Sally commanded himself without looking. Only one seat was empty, the backhead seat. There was a rumor from a few years ago that a kid sitting here stuck his head out the window and bringing it back in, was seen to be decapitated. I personally don't think it possible but I felt better knowing no one else sat here. The ride was slow and by the time we got to school, I was almost ready to fall asleep.

Now for the next part....Rickard was already waiting with his posy.

"Boys. Out."

Rickard expression mimicked his frustration.

Instead, he smiled at Mr. Sally and said all singsong like, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

They exited with ease out into the open air. I trudged to the front. Mr. Sally seemed amused by my "fear" judging from the curl of his lips around the smoky-tipped stick in his mouth. I'm not sure if my mask slipped for a second but horror flashed briefly through his tired eyes. Recognition too, shined like stars over his wrinkled face.

"Dead already?"

He then kicked me in the back and I tumbled off his bus. He sped away leaving me enveloped in a cloud of exhaust. But the question echoed in my mind over and over and over. What does death mean? Am I really dead? My feet moved on their own and I climbed the few steps to school.

Rickard was groveling close by, the only thing holding him back was a lingering hall monitor. My class was down the hallway on the left. Before reaching this location, I had to go through many a child. I was isolated in this neck of the woods. No one talked nicely to me and I kept to myself. There was a tension I could not comprehend, it appeared as if 2 different fears had manifested themselves.

One being fear of treatment from Rickard: Bullying, something one wishes not to implore upon themselves. And the other, fear of disappointment. It was no secret that I was a rich boy and adults can sometimes let greed cloud their decisions. That offense pertains to their children. Become friends with me or suffer is the ultimatum.

All this because of my existence...and I loved it. For these reasons, only Rickard and his posy sought after me in anger while others tolerated me. I kept my head up and met the eyes of school mates passing me by. Their eyes were solemn, some bright and others dull. Shirts were plainly colored and knapsacks worn. The tide of children parted itself slightly at my presense and I avoided as many shoulders as possible. If I was close to hitting, I'd say sorry in a weak voice and let my eyes dull to subkission.

I was about to enter my classroom, when I felt a sharp tug on my back. A second later, I was dragged away by my collar and slammed against a locker. Oxygen escaped my lungs and my surprised eyes met the satisfaction of another's.

"Ey Sissy."

Rickard.