Up In The Heaven

Kabanata 1: ADVERTISEMENT

"Kung meron man akong gustong baguhin sa buhay ko. Yung ay ang bitawan ang pagiging  president ng kompanya at mag trabaho sa PAGASA upang ng sa gayon ay alam ko ang tyempo ng araw ng kasal ko"

Yan ang palaging iniisip ko tuwing nakakapalagi ako sa paraisong gawa ng imahinasyon ko. Imahinasyong galling sa totoong depinasyon ko ng kasiyahan, kasiyahang sa iisang babae ko lamang natatagpuan. Sa iisang babaeng araw-araw kong binabalikan.

At alam kong medyo may pagkatanga rin ako, kung sana hindi maulan nung araw na ikakasal ako sana ngayon kasamang-kasama ko na siya sa bisig ko....

Sana ngayon.... Totoo parin ang forever.

Well who am I by the way? Im Jerick James Rivera a president of his own company 27 years old ng ma-aksidente't mamatay habang tatlong taon narin istambay bilang kaluluwang ligaw.

And yung kanina ko pang sinasabing bride, her name was Aileen Venie Santos, she's my college sweetheart nilakad ko siya upang mabigyan siya ng malaking pwesto sa kompanya and with my father's decision she's been my vice president since then.

Now both of my parents and my little brother Kyle Duan had all migrated in the US.

It took them months to decide kung kanino ipapamahala ang kompanyang iniwanan ko, and Aileen take the risk na makipag sagupaan ng utak sa ibang naghahangad ng posisyon ko. And she won. At the same time, dala ang malaking expectation ng mga magulang ko sa kanya, they left all fortunes here. Kahit ako.

At dahil narin dito Aileen strive hard to meet the expectation of my family, habang nakikita ng dalawang mga mata ko ang pag-iyak niya tuwing gabi dahil sa paglisan ko. I can tell her pain.... I can see her pain.... I can feel her pain... dahil ito rin ang nararamdaman ko. Kahit sabihin ko mang tinatanggap ko ang sinapit ko seeing her like that makes me want to live again, to end her suffering, to tell her to move on.

What happened to me was a sudden death, I didn't see it coming. Ni hindi nga ako nakadama ng sakit sa katawan when that big post of light fell down crushing my head into pieces. It just tores my heart when I saw my bride sitting on the road while holding my very pale hand. At wala akong magawa to comfort her to tell her I was here.... I was there, I am not yet dead.

It's killing me for the second time.... Third time....

maraming pagkakaiba, sa mga nabubuhay, at sa mga namatay.. let's differenciate it?

1st !

ika-nga, dapat kang matakot sa buhay hindi sa patay.. well for me, wala akong kinatatakutan sa dalawa,

instead matakot ka sa poste, ulan, sasakyan na pwedeng pumatay sayo.. advice ko lang dude.. yan kasi yung tatlong bagay na kumitil ng buhay ko..

2nd!

when youre alive, mahal ang kuryente kung mag w-washing machine, marami kang paplantsahin, marami ka pang isasampay kung sakasakaling di afford magpa laundry.. mahal ang kiwi pangpakintab ng sapatos, mahirap maputikan at magpunas.. but when youre dead, tss.. di mo na kailangan pang magpapalit palit ng susuotin, magpakintab ng sapatos, your clothes is good as new.. imagine? three years akong di nagpapalit ng damit, pati buhok ko, ayos na ayos, and to think na napaka water resistant ng damit ko.. yun nga lang.. the moment I died, im wearing toxido.

3rd!

watching porn, will give you an extra effort to search sites na pwedeng mapanood ang kinagigiliwang raising manhood na xrated movies, at isa pa, kailangan mo pang magtago para di ka makita habang nanonood..

pero pag wala ka na sa mundo, you can just sit down to one area and just watch couples having sex, or rather watch somebody taking bath.. why? they were never aware na naririyan ka pala. medjo pervert pero that's the truth..

at alam ko ang iniisip niyo ngayon, nabosohan ko na si Aileen? geez.. mahal ko yun di ko gagawin ang bagay na ikagagalit niya.. pero yeah once!

4th!

mahal ang pamasahe tuwing babyahe ka, and will took time to reach a place, minsan nga spent whole year around thinking what place you should visit kasi diba syempre mag-iisip ka kung saan-saan may magagandang lugar na pwedeng bisitahin.. at hindi mawawala yung pagkain, kailangang hindi butas ang bulsa mo kung lalakad ka.. pero kung katulad mo ako? geez, you can be at the place wherever you want sa pag-iimagine lamang, the steps are here..

first you need to close youre eyes, think of the place you wanted to visit, why you desire to be at.. then slowly open your eyes, and hey!!! ALOHA!!! YOU ARE NOW IN HAWAII! naranasan ko na ang ganyan, I think about the place Paris at naroroon ako kaagad, even by just imagining cousins? tss closing

your eyes meditating for a while at pagbukas ng yong mga mata

"Bon appetite" ganyan kadali.. umuusok pa yung pagkain.. and to think we ghost hindi nabubusog, kayat no carbohydrates, kung meron man..

5th! ito matindi

if you're a ghost you can enter any rooms wherever you want, doors wont block you on your way, unlike to those who are alive, mauuntog ka pa, bukol aabutin mo.. no need to take any elevators, escalators, even riding vehicles just to be in the place, as I repeat, just by thinking you can be in anywhere..

kayat walang panahon since I died na sinayang ko.. visiting my own company, even pagsama kay aileen sa opisina't kwarto, and even nung burial ko, nakipanood rin ako, seeing a lot of people was there sharing the agony of my family. I never felt any tears in my eyes but cought it falling, since ghost cannot feel any of their physical movements.. ika-nga patay ka na when youre heart and brain would stop on working.. but you know? ghost can feel too.. hindi porket my heart had stop beating, ay nawala narin yung mga emotions ko.. alam mo ba kung ano ang primary feeling ko nung pinapanood ang sarili katawan being  burried down to sixth ft? loneliness.. napakabigat.. at the same time, shocked..

baka iniisip niyo, nag-aadvertise ako at nag-iimbita na dapat mamatay na lang lahat ng tao para libre.. no.. huwag niyong hihilingin yan, never to wish.. mas maganda parin yung buhay ka.. marami kang kaibigan, they appreciate your existence, you will be sharing them memories until kaya at gusto mo.. you can be with the people youre happy with, stay late at night doing a lot of stuffs, makapagbili at makasuot ng magagarang damit.. pwede kang maki-wacky sa mga pictures.. pwede kang maka status sa facebook, marami.. and most specially..

hindi ka pinapatay ng pa ulit-ulit kung palagi mo na lang nakikita ang isang taong mahal na mahal mo habang naghihinagpis gabi-gabi, inaalala yung pagkakamatay mo.. the way they embraces the clothes you left in the world of the living..

it's been three years past already living in this lonely world that only I can understand, no friends, your good as dead..

and do believe me.. I am a ghost, i know kung paano umiikot ang buhay ko ngayon..

at ito'y napakalungkot... napakalungkot..

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