Neighbors

My Heart is as Cold as the Clouds of Your Breath

Alex stood outside of Madison's car as she hid her "valuables" and locked the doors. He nervously looked around at their surroundings, the parking lot was almost pitch black but Alex could still see the homeless man that was slumped against the side of a building staring at them. The houses lining the street looked decrepit and abandoned. His heart began to race and his palms grew sweaty as he grew more nervous and alert. He jumped when he felt two hands firmly squeeze his shoulders. His brown eyes flickered down to find Madison standing inches away from him with a reassuring smile.

"Stop thinking" she said as if that was going to solve how Alex was currently feeling.

"I...are you sure we should be here? It looks dangerous" Alex whispered, afraid that if he spoke louder that he would draw attention to the pair of naïve teenagers. Madison mover her right hand down from his shoulders and grabbed Alex's hand. "The trick is to act like you belong, like you're supposed to be here. If you look like you know where you are going and like you are a fearless badass then no one will bother you. You just have to look like you belong here" Madison advised the nervous boy and gave his hand a small squeeze.

"Just trust me" she added with a smile. Alex nodded and began to follow her lead to the bakery that stood brightly lit two blocks away, to very dimly lit blocks.

"How do this not scare you?" Alex asked, genuinely curious about how this small girl could fearlessly walk through a dark "ghetto" are of the city.

"I never said it doesn't scare me" Madison quipped with a chuckle "But you act—" "Exactly," she interrupted him, "I act like it doesn't faze me. You'll learn to do it with some practice" Alex smiled at the fact that Madison had indirectly implied that they would be doing this often but he knew better than to tease her about it. He didn't want her to shut him out before he even had a chance to get to know her.

"How'd you get so street smart?" he questioned her. Madison halfheartedly shrugged and cryptically answered his question "you do what you have to do in order to survive, I guess."

Alex's brows furrowed in confusion but once again he left the topic alone but made a mental note to bring it up some other time when she trusted him more. A wave of relief washed over Alex when they finally reached the bakery. He dropped Madison's hand and rushed ahead of her to hold the door open. He couldn't help but think about how impressed his mom would have been if she were there.

"Thanks," Madison smiled appreciatively at him as she walked into the eclectically decorated bakery. The smell of freshly baked pastries and hot coffee filled the air creating a calming aroma.

"Do you know what you want?" Madison turned to look at Alex who shook his head. "There's a menu over there" she pointed to a chalk board hanging to the left of them. Alex nodded his head and made his way over to the menu. His eyes lazily scanned over the chalk written words but nothing caught his attention.

"ROB!" Madison's voice carried throughout the small bakery. Alex's head snapped up to see what was going on. He watched in a mixed emotion of amusement and jealousy as "Rob" twirled Madison around, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. Alex hesitantly walked back over to where Rob and Madison stood. Madison flashed Alex a smile.

"Who do we have here?" Rob slyly nudged Madison. He had known the girl for years and she had not ever once brought anyone with her to the art district. When he asked her about it she only gave him heavily coded responses about this being her secret. "Oh, Rob this is my neighbor Alex. Alex this is my friend Rob..." Madison awkwardly introduced the two boys. Alex frownded at the title he had been given, he was sure that in the short time that they had spent together that he had made progress to becoming her friend but apparently he was wrong.

"Nice to meet you, Alex. It's about time this rockstar started expanding her social circle." Alex smiled and returned the handshake, his eyes flickering to Madison who stood uncomfortably next to him.

"Rockstar?" Aex questioned Rob, genuinely intrigued to learn about this nickname.

"Yeah," Rob nodded excitedly, "this girl here has a major talent. You should come out to our next open mic and check her out, she's a rockstar."

"Rob...." Madison trailed off. She was regretting bringing Alex here. The art district has always been her secret place where she could escape to. It was the only place that she felt comfortable, like she didn't have to be perfect. The art district was the home where she was able to be free, it's where she never felt like she was being judged.

Rob sighed "Caramel coffee and puff pastry, right?" Madison nodded and Rob turned to Alex waiting for him to order.

"Uh, just a coffee" Rob nodded "alright, I'll have those right out to you"

Madison gave Rob a tight lipped smile before walking away to "her spot" by the window. Alex followed her to the small table and sat opposite of her. Shortly after they sat down Rob had placed the two coffees in front of them and the pastry in front of Madison. Madison immediately grabbed her coffee and let the smooth liquid slide down her throat heating her body up.

"When is the next open mic?" Alex asked, he was already incredibly excited to find out that Madison was a musician like himself. He had never met a girl that had a passion for music the way he did.

"Alex...." Madison sighed.

"Y-you don't want me to come..." Alex trailed off his voice unable to cover his hurt feelings. Madison avoided looking at him, she didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes.

"I-I just don't like mixing my life up is all" she attempted to explain but even she knew that she wasn't making any sense. She looked up to see Alex's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Alex, it's just that who I am here is different from school. It's just easier to keep it separate, it's better this way. I don't expect you to understand..." Madison was certainly right, Alex didn't understand at all.

"But why can't you be this you all the time? I like this you..." Alex admitted. Madison bit her lip in an attempt to stop the watery tears from filling her eyes as the emotions built up inside of her.

"Because, I know what's expected of me" she whispered. The tension between the two grew heavy. Madison pushed her coffee to the middle of the table along with her forgotten pasty and cleared her throat. She spoke with much more confidence this time around.

"Look Alex, I promise you it's not worth the time and effort to bother with me. It's in your best interest to stop pursuing a friendship with me. I won't be worth it, you're setting yourself up for disappointment" Madison said as if she had recited this speech too many times before, and Alex had feeling that this was a speech she had spewed off effortlessly to anyone that had ever tried to get close to her. Alex could clearly see that Madison was attempting to push him away before he even had a chance to break through her walls. Alex followed her as she walked back to the front doors of the bakery, he once again held the door for her but both stayed silent as they walked down the road towards the parking lot where they had parked.

"Will you hold my hand?" Alex finally spoke. Madison gave an emotionally void nod and intertwined her bony fingers with Alex's long ones and they continued their journey through the city in silence. Though, Alex's mind refused to shut up, he couldn't figure out how their early morning adventure had grown to become so bitter. The drive back home was silent aside from the rumble of the engine. The morning sun began to rise above the tree tops reminding Madison that she hadn't gotten any sleep, pulling into her driveway Madison turned the car off and got out. She began walking to her backyard to sneak back into her bedroom before anyone could realize that she was missing. She really didn't want to get in trouble; it wasn't something she would be able to handle at the moment.

"Madison," Alex placed his hand in hers before continuing "I don't know what you're afraid of but I promise I would never judge you or tell anyone anything that you don't want them to know. I'm not trying to hurt you....I-I just wanna hold your hand" Madison closed her eyes and pulled her hand free from his grip. This was precisely why she tried so hard to keep to herself. Madison couldn't stand the overwhelming feeling of guilt that washed over her, she never seemed to do anything but hurt people.

"Goodbye Alex" she whispered and began climbing back into her window leaving the confused teenage boy standing outside alone.