'UGH' / h.s (ON HOLD)

Chapter 11

~ Kennedy Johnson ~

"You're not gonna give up are you?" I chuckled, fakely, of course. "No. Not until you tell me, part, of what is happening. Okay?" He said, in the softest voice.

"Okay," I nodded.

"I'm just gonna tell you how I feel." I added. "Fair enough."

I took a deep breath and began, "Well obviously I don't feel very good," I stopped. "No, duhh." I sighed and rolled my eyes. What part of this is not that easy does he not understand?

"Harry you're not making this any easier."

"Okay sorry." He apologized and let me continue.

"I feel.. lost. I don't feel in this world, I feel pained. And hurt. I hate feeling this way, but I've always felt it. I'm used to it already though. I feel so weak, I'm getting pissed off at everyone. I just- I- don't know. I don't feel very welcomed anymore." I've never felt so stupid before. I have no damn idea why I'm telling Harry how I feel.

I feel utterly embarrassed.

"Is that all?" He asked, confused.

"Yes. Thats all. I'm not saying anything else."

He's confused. I can tell. He doesn't understand why I'm saying this, he might not be pleased with my answer but I feel pretty proud of myself. Its weird but I do.

I just told Harry how I feel. Thats an acomplishment.

"Okay.. umm," He scratched the back of his neck and turned back, to avoid the awkward bound between us.

"Is there anything else you wanna say..?" Harry questioned.

"Well, I also feel stupid, and embarrassed. I feel like this was a waste of time. At the end of the day, you're the one that is satisfied, not me,"

"But-" I held my index finger to stop him from interrupting. "What I want to know is why did you make me say all of this? this is just making me feel worse."

"Are you done?" That might if been sort if rude to say but then again, when am I not rude?

I nodded and said, " Well, I'm gonna go get some fresh air." I walked outside and sat down on the porch.

What if he tells someone?

What if someone finds out that I'm in this condition?

What if he had a camera in the room and he video taped everything I said?

I'm beginning to regret everything I said to him. I've barely known the guy 2 weeks. I'm actually scared. Scared that he'll tell the world about my weakness, about my unwelcomeness.

I cant help but think of how much of a shitty move I made, telling a stranger my feelings. Shitty. as. fuck.

What weirds me out the most is the way he worries so much, he furrows his eyebrows, and his eyes turn one shade darker of green, his laugh, how his eyes crinkle and his dimples deepen more than ever. The way he's annoying but doesn't put me on full pissy mood.

Its weird. Its not- "Here, you're gonna freeze out here." My inner thoughts were interrupted by Harry handing me a brown jacket. I thanked him and stared at the old couple crossing the street, the old man holding his wife's hand and leading her to the end of the roadway.

"When will you trust me?" Harry questioned.

When will I trust you? I don't know. Only time will tell.

"You're still going on with that?" Harry cracked a slight smile. Which made me crack one too. "Yeah." He stated.

"Well.. do you have any interests other than trying to stalk my past?" I raised my eyebrow at him wrapping myself tightly around the jacket.

"I prefer calling it investigating than stalking," Harry smirked and I chuckled. "But yes, indeed. I interest in my carreer." He added.

Indeed? What the fuck. Haha. Its 2014, Nobody uses that word these days pretty boy. He must be one of those guys who talk like real deep british.

Nah. He's too hot for that.

"Hmm, interesting." I mumbled.

Not really

He's in one of those weirdo pretty boy boy bands that every single girl dies for, literally.

"So, mind telling me about your past?" I asked, scratching my non- existent beard. "Yeah." He paused, and continued.

"Well, I have a sister. She most likely raised me. My mother and father practically fought every night, when my father would come home drunk, my mother would throw a fit. I left my house when I was 14 and left with my sister to her boyfriend's house."

"My sister eventually broke up with her boyfriend, that meant we had to move out. We didn't have anything so my sister began working at a store down the street and I started to work at a bakery. When my sister and I had saved up enough money to get a house, not really a house, more like a shack? I don't know, lets just say it was a very small apartment. We rented one and just went on with our lives." Harry finished and looked at me.

"So yeah, thats my story." I wish I could say it as easily as he does.

Just another perk of being Kennedy Jonhson.

"Well we should be heading inside, its getting dark" Harry said after a while of silence. He offered me his hand and lifted me off the ground easily.

How does he do it? So easily.

~

( Heyyy guys! This tells a little bit of both so yeah! Hope you like it <3 )

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~ A.S ~