This was a BIG spider!

I caught the big nasty spider this morning. I managed to kill it and put it in a skip. I was having having a stretch when i noticed it suddenly got very dark in the living room. I turned and saw it on the ceiling. I thought it was another lamp shade at the front window end.

I went out the back door and screamed very quietly,as it was still early. Then i went to the shed to get a shovel.

Although it had 8 tree trunks for legs,i managed to prise it off the ceiling. It almost smashed the arm chair as it fell to the floor. I managed to dive on it before it beat me up. There were legs flying EVERY where!

I got it in a leg lock but i only counted seven. Then suddenly,out of nowhere,it got its eighth leg around my legs and dragged me into the kitchen.

I managed to pick up the shovel and whack it over the head with it. It dropped me on my head then looked at me laughing. After i stopped crying,i grabbed a big knife (I couldnt find a sword) and started swinging it around with my eyes closed.

When i oped my eyes,i saw the spider with his head in the fridge,drinking my beer. This made me very mad! I started swinging the knife around again and then i realised that it was legless so i went up to the shed and grabbed a 9 iron out of my golf set. I swung in above my head and hit it out of the front door. Then i chipped it into the skip.

I sure wouldn't like to meet its father. This...was a BIG spider.