im so done with the world and people treating me like shit and wondering why i sit here and hurt myself, sit here and cry myself to sleep. and people wonder why i have trust issues you think that i have the strength to handle anything and get over anything and adapt to anything that they or life throws at me but thats not the case the case is im tired of it im fucking tired of people thinking i have the strength when in reality i dont in reality, every night i was to hurt my self i would be scared up on down if i could i would drop a coal on my wrist and let it burn through my skin until it fell out from the other end. I had this girl in my life , gabby. You know she understood she helped me with my problem she saved me from a lot. she was there for me through the hardest time in my life. and i will always love her i can never not care about her no matter how much shit i put her through because i wasnt any better than her ... all i did was leave. then theres my dad who i think cares about me so much, he was been there for me my whole life because my mom just wasnt the fuck around.and now i feel like im never good enough for him all i do is disappoint him, i can never meet up to his expectations of what he wants in his perfect little girl.. Im a broken piece of fucking crap and all the time all i ever here is how i need to do better and all i think about is im pushing myself over the edge and that still isnt good enough and my mom she just isnt around and no matter how much she tells me she loves me how , how much she cares about me , shes not there she doesnt show it... actions do speak louder than words and her actions are silent steps in the distant woods far away, my friends my best friends are a wreck of friends. Your strong Brie you can do anything , do you care if i do this.. knowing that they know how badly im gonna hurt but ill say yes anyway. And the biggest war i fight is with myself. The confidence the demons the constant thoughts.of hurting myself just not living anymore running away.....slowly dieng, suffering feeling the pain until i take my last breath..its all becoming stronger. The role I have set for my baby sister is a pretty awful one. a pretty fucked up sad, underighted fucking goal , of her thinking trying to kill yourself is okay? her thinking burning the fuck out of yourself until you can feel anymore until you cant see your flesh and the blood ooze from your arms is okay? everyone has there breaking point? there lowest point, my lowest point is every point, and pretty soon ill be a pretty face walking around as a corpse as a demon lives within side me..
