The living room looks like heaven. The Christmas tree is covered in beautiful lights, there are candles everywhere, and an old album plays on Dad's record player. Jamie sits at the dining table next to me, his little legs not quite touching the ground. The scent of the candles is glorious, although the smell of burnt chicken still lingers underneath.
Normally I would nudge Jamie and make him wait 'til after grace was said before he started eating, but Mum and Dad won't be here for a while - I can just detect the sharp words and angry threats over the spinning vinyl - and Jamie seems oblivious to it all, so I don't upset him.
Like every year, Mum spent most of the day on the big Christmas feast - preparing the chicken, peeling, cutting and roasting all the vegetables, making a salad and whipping up a gigantic cake for dessert. She didn't seem to have her mind on it this year though, and managed to scorch the chicken to a black mess and butchered all the veggies. Dad told her to throw it out but because he said it, she demanded that it was salvageable and made us set the table. They then disappeared behind the closed door and haven't come out since. I don't really want to sit here, so I take Jamie by the hand and guide him out the front door. There are still zpieces of chicken falling out of his mouth.
We wander with no destination in mind. It's not even snowing, there's just a biting wind and the sky threatens to rain. We have our coats though, and the fairy lights decorating the power poles give off a warm light that seems to make the night not so cold. Jamie chatters away about planes and toy trains, letting me stay quiet. "Did you know you can track all the planes that are in the air right this minute?! I've been tracking one of the Boeing 747's and it goes absolutely everywhere! It would be really cool to go on a plane - do you think we could? What would it be like to be so far up in the sky? If I could have one superpower, I'd want to fly..."
I smile as he goes on and on about everything and nothing. I lead him up to the old outpost on the edge of the city and although he pants as he climbs, he only stops talking when we sit down.
"Wow."
"I know."
It's so clear. We see the cars and people zip around as life moves on but it's timeless up here - I feel detached. Or maybe I finally feel awake. It's hard to tell. It's just so different - I can actually see the stars, and the air clears your head rather than clogging it.
"There's no shouting up here," Jamie says. Maybe he wasn't as naive as I thought. I look over at him and smile wryly.
"No slamming doors either."
He gives a little giggle and swings his legs against the wooden edge.
"Well come on then." I take one more deep breath of fresh air and stand up, taking Jamie's hand. "How does a Hot Chocolate sound?"
