Charlie. (Larry Stylinson)

Grace.

Richmond Rehabilitation Center.

[Another counseling session]

[Week Four]. It was different that time around, being seated in front of those group of people he had once known as strangers. Charlie could see the progress, how open they had became, and how happy they had became because of the venting they had done. Charlie had finally reached a point where he was ready to share; share with them who he was; share with them what made him the person he had became; share with them an aspect of his life that he knew would probably knock him a few steps back. And that was all right, because the support to get back on his feet would there if he just reached out for it. Instead of paying attention to the clock on the wall, his eyes gazed upon every other person in the room as they shared their feelings and their thoughts; as they shared their tears and worries; as they shared their growth and revelations.

"Charlie, would you like to share?" Any time Ms. Smith had asked him that before, he would either dart out of the room or shake his head, and then remain quiet for the remainder of the session; but he fingers lightly gripped the brown journal in his hand and he knew that if he was going to open up, then he would have to go all the way with it. In order for people to understand who he was and where he came from, in order for people to understand why he was seated where he was that day, they would have to understand who Harry was. Harry was the larger than life picture. Harry was the reason for Louis' happiness and Charlie's existence. Harry was the reason for Charlie's green eyes and every obstacle their family had faced over the past couple of months; and Harry was the head shaped like a cloud that frequently floated on by.

"I'm Charles William Styles. Son of Harry and Louis Styles. Student at Princeton Academy. A boyfriend. A lost soul in need of guidance; a lost soul who follows the path of his late-father. A secondhand victim to a hate crime. A rehab patient; a rehab patient soon to recover." Charlie felt it, that heavy pressure slowly lifting; that weight on his shoulder that barely allowed him to breathe; that chain around his ankle that held him down. Charlie watched the other patients as they watched him, some with small smiles on their face. If anyone could understand what he was going through, it was them. They would never judge, so he wasn't quite sure what he was afraid of. He removed his hands from over Harry's journal, and the room full of eyes shifted their focus to it.

August 4, 1997.

Lou has been feeling a little sick this past week. I've tried every remedy I could think of, from massages to soup to a warm towel on his forehead; and while he seems to love all those things, as he likes to remind me, they're not exactly working. I want to believe it's a simple cold, or maybe even a meal gone wrong in his stomach area; but then I would only be ignoring the large elephant in the room. He fell asleep early tonight and I came across something in our bathroom. It was a pregnancy test. Naturally, my mind initially wandered to the only reasonable answer. I wondered if it was the pregnancy test of some woman, who this woman was, how many months, and so forth. I don't like to think these things about Louis because this is a road I don't think he's capable of going down. So, I put my insecurities aside and went down a more critical route; something that may sound a little illogical and impossible, but I also can't ignore what my intuition leads me to believe. Louis is pregnant! I say this with excitement. I say this with a sense of anxiety because this is unbelievable; but I'm happy and my tears stain this page. I want to awake him, but I know he needs his rest. Papa Harry has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Fingers crossed xo.

Daniel: "I can't wait to see your beautiful face again." Charlie chuckled because Daniel, in fact, was a hopeless romantic even when he already claimed his heart's desire. But Charlie missed him all the same and as unfortunate was that they couldn't spend much time together before his departure, he continued to look forward to the day that they would finally move forward with one another. Charlie finally stopped fighting the inevitable. He was in love, even from a distance. It was risky and scary, but it was beatific and alluring. The positive outweighed everything else. "I stopped by your dad's house," Daniel said.

Charlie: "How is he doing? I mean, physically. He tells me one thing on the phone, but you know..." There was a slight shuffling on the other end of the line and what sounded like the opening of a door. "Are you on the balcony at the bookstore?"

Daniel: "Yeah, he's doing fine. Your room's pretty nice," Daniel chuckled and Charlie blushed because he was sure the blue-eyed boy saw his teddy bears. "And yeah, I'm working a little late today. You know, you're still welcome to work here when you get home."

Charlie: "Sounds like a promise."

Daniel: "Only because I love you."