As I see the lights on the football field beam i only see that this isn't where i wanna be. I'd rather be in the corner with my head buried in a book rather than throwing the football across the field. This field is literally just dirt and grass while these books have words that will enhance my way of thinking; change my way at looking at life. I come home everyday looking at the same trophies and same jerseys not impressed but I continue to admire my only trophy from a spelling bee in the 5th grade. It amazes me that I'm beyond smart but hide behind my helmet just to impress my team and fans. I wish I could uncover the real me. The real me has his head stuck in the book with at least 500 pages, with hundreds of words bottled in my head, equations written all over my math book, formulas for physics all over my hands. I just cannot get enough of school work. Football is cool but to me my education and knowledge is everything. I'm walking down the hall and I cannot get Meloni out of my head. She takes over all the anger I have. Why would my friends on the football team interrupt her from answering a question in class. They are all idiots. Meloni is so bright and beautiful. I saw the way she looked at me when I tried to get them to be quiet. I wonder if she likes me too? We are almost the same. She's an overachiever, who's captain of the cheerleaders and of course I'm the captain of the football team and an overachiever too. As I head down to my locker to put my books inside, I see my friends coming.
"Yo, what was up with you back there? You defending these nerdy chicks now!? Do you know how that makes us look?"
"You guys were being rude and obnoxious. You guys need to chill sometimes why do you even care about a fight that has nothing to do with you?," I reply as I move out of their circle.
"Fights are fun. We are the captains of the football team it's our responsibility to know about the fights that happen. I know you wanna know about it too stop acting all innocent because you're not."
"I'm not acting innocent i just have common sense. Talking about a fight that has nothing to do with me is pointless definitely when it's interrupting a class. Meloni was trying to answer a question for ten minutes there is no reason you guys had to be that loud especially when talking about that dumb fight."
"Who do you think you're talking to?! Do you think you're better than us!? You're not, you never will be."
"It seems like I'm not the one who thinks I'm better than you, you're the one who thinks I'm better than you. You're insecure maybe."
"Insecure about what exactly?"
"You tell me."
"Stop defending her. Defend her again or else we won't be friends. Is that clear!?"
"Yeah... whatever," I tell them as I spot Meloni peeking around the wall looking at us.
I am so embarrassed. Now she see that the guys are really jerks and that they have control over me. At this moment, I finally realize that they are the reason I hide behind my helmet. Sometimes I wonder if I can just hide my helmet. One day I hope to never find my helmet.
Meloni sees me looking over at her and dashes off.
"Wait! Meloni," I call out as I run after her.
"Go away!" she yells back.
"Just stop, let me talk to you."
Meloni stops running and slouches down against the school window.
"Your friends are jerks!"
"Everyone knows that."
"I'm just unimportant. They care about a stupid fight more than they care about me giving an answer that they couldn't even figure out by themselves."
I sit down next to her against the window and realize that she feel just like I do.
"Yeah. I bet."
What I really want to say is, "You're not the only unimportant one." But I just can't.
Meloni is so caring and thoughtful. She's like the beautiful sun after the day of rain. When she's given a task, a lightbulb inside her head just instantly brightens, the lightbulb is never really off. I hope to get to a particular time when I get to constantly have my lightbulb inside my head on. The lights from the football field just give me a spotlight to be seen. But am I actually seen? Do people actually care about how I feel, what I know and how smart I am? No one really knows how high my GPA is but they know my record of touchdowns. Meloni doesn't know what's underneath my helmet. I wish to expose what's underneath it.
"You seem to be important, you're recognized and never forgotten," she utters.
"I guess so."
I am forgotten everyday in class. She doesn't even see that I'm smart. As much as she's unrecognized in class when there's a fight during the week, my smartness goes unrecognized every day. Everyone see's Kendal, with the number 54 on his helmet, always making a touchdown, the fastest and most untouched person on the team. I see, Kendal, the straight A student, 4.0 GPA, accepted student to Howard University, and tons of goals outside of football. Football is fun but reading is more fun. One day I'm going to take this helmet off and it'll be my last time wearing it. Everyone will see Kendal, not the captain of the football team.
The Helmet
You see a guy who catches the football at the game
I see a guy who can read a book in an hour
You see a guy who makes the winning touchdown
I see a guy who writes poems in his free time
People choose to see what makes them comfortable
They choose to see the prototype but not actually what it takes to make the design
People love to see the trophies and awards but not the person holding it
The numbers on jerseys mean nothing without the person who wears them
The scoreboard is just an electrical circuit
So I put my helmet on to avoid seeing the meaningless circuit
I use the helmet to support other people's egos
The helmet is used only to cover up my insecurities and protect me from me
When it comes off I get cold and shiver
The shivering illuminates my whole body
