Never ends

The cycle continues

"Lexi, I'm talking to you!" he screamed, interrupting my miserable past again revealing the miserable present in which I lived.

"I'm sorry," I whimper, hoping to not be struck.

"Josiah, baby can we please just be happy?" I plea as I reach for a hug. as I opened my arms I felt his strong hands press against my chest with great force pushing me to the ground. As I fell I noticed the tight grip he had on the neatly Hand written letter that reeked of cheap perfume.

"This is not you mail!" he yells.

"If it was, it would say 'Lexi Marie'. I'm not going to just drop it just because your winning either, star!"

I wanted to cry. He hadn't called me Star since high school. This caused me to think back to the beautiful cafeteria filled with food almost as bad as the teachers an the horrible people. in all of the chaos called my life, he was my light, when our love stood strong. that's when he 'saved' me from the horrible foster home and when I became pregnant with hope ruining my dream of ever being famous. I never regretted having star, but after I has her everything I worked my entire life to achieve, was now met impossible.

"I'm sorry joe!" I yelled hoping to end the seemingly endless argument.

"Don't even apologize, you ugly psychopath!" his hurtful words cut me like blades as he continues.

"I bet you father didn't even kill your mother, I bet she killed herself because she couldn't take you!"

The words he spoke stand worse then the rocks against my feet the day my mom died. I immediately began to cry hysterically. I was happy Hope hadn't came home from school yet. she didn't disperse what I was putting her through.

I am forced back into focus as Josiah punched the wall leaving yet another whole in the perfectly painted wall for me to fill later.

"It's hopeless!" he continues "you're obviously to stupid to understand! his demeaning words make my ears ring and my head throb a I put my head into my knees and cried silently, as I had done so many times before. the cold floor stinking my bare skin almost as bad as the words

I began to think back to my mother, if I would have saved her, she could have done what I could only dream to do for Hope I deserve this I thought. For letting my dad that to her.i could have stopped it.

Hours past when I finally began to calm down. at that moment Josiah slowly edged into the bathroom.