My hot roommate

I killed him

Those three words made me shake and shiver. I froze. He. Died. I let that sink a little deeper. He. Died. That made hot tears roll down my cheek. Daniel. Died. No I must've heard wrong, "what?" I ask again. "I am sorry honey. He didn't survive, he died 1 day after he was brought to the hospital, he was a little conscious and he told us to give you his phone in case he didn't make it". Now it was certain. My love died. No how could he? He...no, I killed him. "I killed him" I wishper. I killed him. I killed him. I killed him. My mom kept telling me that it was an accident and that I didn't kill him but I did. I killed him. I killed him. I killed him. I accept it. He is in heaven now. Because of me. The last kiss he gave me...I pushed him off because I needed to get to a party. A party. The last time he held my hand. Was while. We were at the party. Before I killed him. I killed the love of my life.

******
2 days later
After I am home from the hospital with 3 broken ribs, a broken foot and a broken wrist and stand in my room to 'rest' (my parents think I am) instead of resting like I should, I take every framed photo of him or him and I and put them in a black box and call it 'the memory box' creative right? I grab his phone and turn it on I put on my fingerprint on the iPhone 5 and the home screen wallpaper is of us in 9th grade kissing, a tear runs down my cheek I go to the pictures and smile when I see there is a video. I play it.

"Hey babes today we are fucking waking up holls falls with a bucket of ice and our hands. OK so if you are just stupid enough to not know that I am grabbing the bucket of ice and basically dumping it on my baby girlfriend who is going to be mad at me and kill me because she loves her sleep than I do t know how you've fucking made it this far you idiot"

He grabs the bucket of ice dumps half of it on me and lifts up my shirt and dumps the rest there. I jump out of bed "what the fuck Daniel Mathew Cortez!!" I yell in the video and he laughs
fuck I was freezing my ass off and he laughed. But I loved him
"I can explain" he says
"Then explain"
"So there was this guy and he said 'I dare you to dump a bucket of ice on somebody who you think is going to kill you no matter what you explain to them'" he made a girly voice
"And you chose me? Babe!"
"But I knew you wouldn't forgive me or hear me o-"
"You know you are the one cleaning this mess up don't you, you pig"
"But I am your pig, holls baby"
He walks over to me and kisses me slow and with passion I see him wishper against my lips and 'I love you' and I wishper 'me too'
He walks to the camera and says a goodbye and the screen goes blank.
I touch the cast on my hand...why didn't I die? Why him?
I will never forgive myself over this, ever
I won't let you go Daniel, I promise