Lilac Hearts

Chapter 1

Heartless

Ever since I was born I've had this condition. The doctors don't know what to make of it - dangerously low pulse, freezing cold skin and lifeless blue eyes. But I could care less - I never cared about anything. 

I never felt the pain of anguish, rage, loss or even love. I am just as I am.

Though, there is one time of day that my empty chest will squeeze with longing, and that is night - while I dream.

"Illia? Illia?"

As I float high above a vast field, painted pale pink with the petals of the surrounding cherry blossom trees, a man appears, calling my name. As always, I feel the tug of his voice - I want to get closer. To be with him, to hold him in a close embrace.

"Illia? Are you here?"

Yes! I'm up here!

I tried to scream to him, but my breath becomes bubbles and my chest feels on fire as I sink to the depth of unknown waters.

I-it hurts! It hurts so much!

"That is because the part of you that is missing is trying to return."

Before I could face the cold, husky voice and identify whoever spoke, I would always awake, panting in a pool of my own sweat.

"Illia dear... would you like some cereal?"

My mother always asked me the same question... every morning.

"No thank you Jean."

No, she wasn't my real mother, just the kindly middle aged woman who cared for us here at the orphanage. Officially - and to a lot of the younger children - she was known as our mother.

"I don't know why you bother Jean. That girl will always be as cold as ice."

That was Sasha. He had lived here since a young age - five I think. Not like me who had only been moved here within the past two years.

"Sasha-" Jean tried to protest on my behalf, as always, but Sasha continued to insist as he moodily scoffed down the last of his cereal and moved over to the sink where he placed his empty bowl.

"No! Don't bother defending her - she's not normal. She doesn't speak unless spoken to, cry, laugh or get mad. She's just...creepy."

Jean, at a lost for words, just stared at Sasha - a sad whimsical look on her face, as I did as he stated. I did not get mad, just simply grabbed some toast off of one of the long tables in the kitchen/dining room and calmly made my way out of the back door. I nodded goodbye to the both of them as I began my daily trek to my middle school - over the hill... and far away from here.

School was the not much different either - nothing ever was. Everyday was the same, the only time I could ever feel anything was new or exciting was in my dreams. However I didn't even have enough heart to long for sleep.

"Eewww, it's the Ice Queen!"

"No, don't look at her; they say you'll turn to stone!"

My classmates had continued using this nickname for me since my first day at school. I had never given them any reason to believe it wasn't true - that I was made of ice - and I had no intention of ever doing so.

"I'm going to introduce a new transfer student today class."

Our teacher, Mrs Hooper, was standing in the same upright position as always. She had a childish face and her eyes would sparkle with excitement over things like Sports Day or Arts Week. I guess she was extremely competitive. 

A tall boy with dark brown hair and a straight-laced composition walked into the room; right on cue. He was slim, with a pointed chin and very sharp, dark eyes. They were so dark, in fact, they looked black. A few girls behind me squealed and quietly muttered to each other,

"Oh wow! He's so handsome!"

"Wait, wait! Is he looking this way?"

"My gosh... those eyes are just so..."

They continued to swoon, but as I looked up, his eyes caught mine. I screamed. 

My chest was burning. I stood up and panted, looking around for someone to help - but they were all to shocked to move.

"I-it hurts! It hurts so much!"

I couldn't breathe, I was clutching at my chest in the hopes I could calm down the sudden, and excruciating pulsating that had come over me.

"She needs to go to the infirmary Mrs!"

The boy, who had been standing in the front, watching this spectacle unfold, suddenly jumped to life. He had grabbed my wrist but I was numb except for this pain in my chest, so I couldn't tell. 

"O-of course! Can somebody take her?"

No-one moved.

"I can. I saw it on the way up here - I know where I'm going."

The boy had already picked me up in a princess position. He was moving towards the door as I squealed in pain, and everyone just stared at him open mouthed. 

No-one had dared touch the Ice Queen before - much less carry her.