A Heart's Cry

Chapter 1

Zaida's pov

I should be happy today, after I recieve my 1st award as the best actress .I should be celebrating today. But here I am standing alone in a crowd of people, pretending they doesn't know me.

'Why did I even come here?' I start to think. I was feeling a little drowsy so I headed for the drinks counter.

I sat down next to this guy , I didn't know who he was as I was facing his back. He looked kind of familiar but everybody here looks kind of familiar so I dropped that thought. I got a glass of vodka from the counter and slipped back to my thoughts as I sipped it down.
'Why did I come here? ' I asked myself again. And that's when reality hits me with a hint of vodka, I came here because I've got no choice. I'm here because of my stupid reputation which got ruined.
All celeb parties are way too cliché because everyone's  very dramatic in here. But the media and paparazzi will be here too so that I'll get a chance to be back on the spotlight and also can get rid of all the rumours that has been going on for days. I'm tired of seeing my name, Zaida Santos, all over the place in the wrong way.

My glass of vodka was soon empty but I didn't go for a second one because tonight is the night that I'm going to put a stop to all the hate that I've been receiving in the last days due to all the controversy in media. And if I drink a second glass of vodka than I'll go for a third one and a fourth and on and on, and soon I'll be tipsy. And if I'm tipsy my reputation will sink to the bottom again. I don't want that to happen. Then my career would be over.

All I want is to end this controversies that is happening cause it's a lot for me already. I've been drinking even more and more even if I know it's not good for me and my career.

I shake away my thoughts and that's when the guy sitting in front of me turns around. I recognise who he is quickly. He was my childhood bestfriend, James Carl Gonzaga. I was really surprised to see him after a long time. He've changed a lot(physically), that now he's an international superstar.

James looked just as surprised as me.  After all its been 8 years since we last saw each other. He gave me a smile and his eyes lit up. I've always had a thing for his eyes (I know I'm a creep,don't judge me). I returned him a smile . It was a little awkward  to talk since we didn't know where to start cause after all it's been fucking 8 years and there was a lot to talk about.

His eyes were a sparkling blue. But when I looked at his eyes it looked like he was tired.  Like tired of everything.  Cause I know that this career is pretty hard but from what I knew it was his dream to be an international star . And here he was , an international star drowned in fame.

But seeing him here didn't make my situation any good, I felt even worse than before. And there was this awkward silence for 5 minutes where we were just staring at each other and not saying a word like we were lovers looking at each others eyes admiring it.

Finally james broke the silence with a "hey." His voice made me feel like we were still close friends . Breaking away from my thoughts I said "hey".
When I say our conversation was awkward, I mean like really really awkward.
"How have you been? It's been so long." It looked like he was trying very hard to smile. "G-g-good f-fine" I stuttered,"how are you?". I couldn't handle it anymore so I got one more glass of vodka . I already knew where this is going to end up. He didn't interrupt me ordering a vodka it was like he knew what I was feeling about the conversation.
"Fine",He said at last but there was no emotion in his voice." Sooo how's your career going?" I asked cause I didn't know what else to ask . "Pretty good, how's yours?". "Bad" I replied with a weak smile. His eyes enlarged a bit and then went back to normal. "Oh sorry, I shouldn't have asked that, I'm sorry" looks like he have heard about the rumours. And my brilliant answer was, "Yeah. "

By that time my vodka glass was empty so I immediately got one more glass.
His eyes filled with worry and it was really weird . I gulped down the vodka quickly, the liquid burning my throat but cooling my mind. I kept the glass on the counter and was about to get one more glass , I was really nervous but he stopped me by saying , "  That's enough vodka, you already look tipsy."
He wasn't lying I looked tipsy by the third glass of vodka everytime, I was aware of it. This whole situation was very embarrassing,  I wanted to runaway from here. And that's exactly what I did, I ran away.
I stood up from the counter and ran to the exit cause I couldn't stay there any longer. Firstly because I was tired of this whole party thing as I had no friends and felt lonely. Secondly because it was weird to converse with him.

As I got to the exit light flashed at my face. Everything went wrong.  I was so prepared for this and he had to come and ruin it. I ran In the most tipsy way.  I quickly got a cab and entered it. I headed to home. I bet if I stayed there any longer I would have hyperventilated to death.

This was not my plan for today. This was not the reason why I spend my time in this awful party. And why did james have to be here, he had a big movie project and should be in a hollywood .My life has turned out to be a big mess. I don't cook much now when cooking is my career. I'm getting addicted to alcohol which is not a good sign. I don't get roles in movie when acting is also my career. And most of the nights I cry myself to sleep. Now the paparazzi would have seen me running tipsy at the party and it's going to be all over the news by tomorrow morning. I hope my career don't end soon.

And that's how my plans changed from getting back on the spotlight to crying myself to sleep.