5 Lies and a truth | Madwheeler

5. "I don't want anything."

The gathering was going smoothly so far, and it was nice to know that the boys hadn't changed much in terms of their celebration skills, from Will drawing the birthday banner every year to Dustin planning the food section. He put in a lot of effort this time, of course since it was his own birthday. Max leaned on the kitchen counter surveying the scene from afar, she hated how odd she felt and distant but she knew it was to be expected. Lucas lifted his head and smiled warmly at her and Max couldn't help but return it. Lucas and her had ended things a couple of weeks after the snowball, with them agreeing they were perhaps better off as friends at the moment, but they weren't even allowed to be just friends due to Mike fucking Wheeler and his stupid party rules.

Max sighed breaking her gaze and turned to the bowl of nachos. "Hey, shortstuff" Steve greeted, swaying into the kitchen. "You look happy." Max noted. Steve flashed her a grin plopping himself on the counter. "Yeah well Nancy isn't here." He said almost whispering. "It's been 3 years, Harrington, you should get over her." Steve rolled his eyes snatching a nacho out of Max's hand. "I fell in love with her." He said simply. He crunched the nacho in his mouth, and continued "you can get over crushing on someone, you can get over liking someone but it's harder when you fall in love with someone. When you give your everything, your entirety to them. You can also be mad at them, upset with them, but that doesn't mean you stop loving them" He concludes his speech and his face hardened staring blankly at the bowl next to him. Max narrowed her eyes trying to process what he just said, before clearing her throat making him jump slightly. "Anyways, enough about older Wheeler, what's the deal with you and Mike?" He asked pointing at the boy who was sat on the sofa, an arm routinely wrapped around El. Max groaned "there's no deal, he hates my guts and passes comments that only a true asshole like him could come up with" Steve took this in, his eyes widening. A smile crept up on his face. "Huh is that so..." he said slowly. His smile widened "act like you don't care" he muttered to himself. "What?" Max asked, missing it. Steve shook his head quickly, "I said, boys this age are stupid" Max frowned and looked at him before resuming to eat.

"Hey Madmax!" Dustin sang. Max whirled her head towards him. "I'm opening your present now so c'mon" he waved at her. Max nodded to Steve and made her way gingerly towards the group. Dustin was sprawled on the floor frantically poking the present trying to figure out what is was. Max managed a laugh, making Mike shift in his seat. "What's wrong?" Eleven asked, her eyebrows knitting in worry. "Nothing" Mike said a little too quickly and loudly causing all of them to stare at him. Max saw Mike's face turn red and rolled her eyes, of course he wanted to make a scene during the opening of her present. Mike's heart jerked when he saw Max's eye roll, he had messed up earlier and he knew it.

After the unwrapping, the group lapsed into their own conversations. Max as always feeling like an intruder decided to excuse herself to the bathroom. Once there, she gripped the sink, till her knuckles became pale. It wasn't fair. She clenched her teeth forcing back the tears brimming at her eyes. She had no 'friends' and it was all Mike's fucking fault. She bit back the anger bubbling in her stomach and splashed her face, letting the cold water calm her down. She closed her eyes concentrating on her breathing for a few moments. She however, was disrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. Shit. She quickly scrambled towards the door, opening it, only to be shoved back in the bathroom by a pair of hands.

"What the hell Mike?" Max shouted. Mike put his finger to his lips, turning to lock the door behind him. "Wheeler! What the fuck?" Max questioned again her voice becoming higher. "Just shut up and listen!" Mike shouted back. Oddly enough Max found herself listening to him, and so she shut her mouth which formed into a thin line. Mike took a deep breath, his fists balling and unballing at his sides. He stepped closer towards Max. "About earlier today" he began, his voice low. "Save it, I don't want to talk about it." Max cut him off. "I saw you after school in your car." He blurted, only to wince, why did he even share that with her? "Good to know you're still stalkers" Max replied curtly. Mike sighed, running his hand through his hair. Max swallowed choosing to concentrate on the sink by her side. Mike's hand was dangerously close to her's. Mike himself was dangerously close. "I... look I'm sorry okay? I shouldn't have commented on your dad — stepdad" he said correcting himself. "It's fine" Max said quickly not wanting to drag the issue further. "I'm sorry" Mike said again his voice cracking. Max looked at him. He was looking down at her, his brown eyes... sad. Why was he feeling bad? Guilty yes, but sad...

Mike's eyes travelled from Max's eyes to her lips. They were beautiful, and red and there was this tiny droplet on them making them glisten. Mike's stomach lurched. He closed his eyes, feeling lightheaded. He was too near to her and her stupid lips. His pulse quickened and he sprung back, recoiling at this thoughts. Max jumped. "Seriously. What do you want Mike?" Mike kept his eyes on the floor not daring to look at her. "I don't want anything." He lied. He did want something. He wanted to kiss her. And that scared him. Mike squeezed his eyes shut again trying to block out his thoughts. Max's forehead creased "Mike are you feeling okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his forearm. Mike tensed at her touch, and grabbed her hand, roughly pushing it away from himself. "Yeah" he squeaked in a small voice, thick with nausea. "You don't look it" Max commented. "I said I'm fine" he lied again, gritting his teeth. He spun on his heels and quickly fumbled with the lock, swinging open the door.

And with that Michael Wheeler and all trace of him was gone. Max stared after him, feeling exposed as the warmth of the bathroom left with him. She shivered, wondering what the hell Mike was up to. Why did he even bother to apologize if he was only going to get pissy and dramatic over it? Max had finally had enough of his shit. She stormed downstairs, grabbing her skateboard on the way, before riding out into the night. If Dustin or Steve ask she'll say she missed curfew. She clenched her teeth against the cool air promising herself that she wouldn't cry. Not because of him. He wasn't worth it. But that's the thing. He was worth it, and she knew in heart that it was Max herself that wasn't worth it. Worth his attention. Worth his anger. Worth his friendship. She bit her lip which wobbled under her teeth. She stopped and decided to cry it out on the sidewalk, besides it was too dangerous to skate with teary eyes.

"Max.." the girl glanced up quickly. Mike was looking down at her his hands stuffed awkwardly in his pockets. Max sniffed quickly smudging her tears away. "I'm sorry again" he said flatly. "Mike please..." Max begged her voice strained. She was tired, tired of him. Mike fell silent choosing to take a seat next to her on the sidewalk. "Fuck. It's cold" he complained. "Then don't keep me company." Max responded. Mike coughed at the tension, "You can be so difficult sometimes." He said softly. Max scoffed "Me? yeah that sounds more like you Wheeler." She said incredulously. "Fine. We'll agree to to disagree." He said smugly. Max lifted an eyebrow. "You seriously don't think what your doing isn't being difficult?" Max asked genuinely. "It is" Mike stated quietly. "You think I enjoy giving you a crap time?" He continued, facing her. Max looked away from his gaze "it sure looks like it" she said drumming her fingers on her skateboard. Mike swallowed and reached towards her moving fingers, lacing them in his own. "Mike..." Max started. "Don't... Just..." Mike whispered his voice fading into silence. Max nodded, and decided to quash the anger, and the hurt, choosing to let his fingers thread themselves in hers.

And so they sat in silence hand in hand, listening to the world around them. Forgetting about all their feelings, forgetting about everything and forgetting about everyone else besides each other. Mike looked down at the girl, and her frail fingers in his own. He was done lying to himself, and lying to her.