I Found A Box

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I Found A Box Containing The Story Of A 19-Year-Old Girl Who Killed A Random Person For No Reason

So this is a box I found that was hidden in a mall for presumably ~6 months by now. Aside from the latch, there were rubber bands keeping the box shut. Inside the box is a bundle of tightly-folded pieces of paper. It is a story/recollection written by a 19-year-old girl who has apparently killed a random person just because she was wondering what it would be like. According to the paper, she wrote this just a few hours after the murder and that I am the first person to read it.

So yeah, I doubt I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Anyway, I typed up the entire story because I seriously need to share this. Here it is...

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If you found this note in a small wooden box with a heart on it, then *congratulations!* You are probably the first person to read this. I didn't really plan on sharing this with anybody, but for some reason I think it's exciting that somebody out there, a complete stranger, will come across this note and read my story. Someone I will never meet, sharing such a personal bond with me. I'm fascinated that either one of us could die-even as soon as tomorrow-with the other being completely clueless to the fact. To you, my entire life is within this note, and so I will live for as long as your memory can carry me. Writing this, I'm wondering if that makes you feel fascinated or violated. It's so exciting.

I'm sorry if my story is a bit disorganized, but I'd like to get it down while it's still fresh on my mind. First, I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a first-year college girl and have led, by most standards, a pretty unspectacular life up to this point. I grew up in an upper-middle class school district with decent teachers. I did track in middle school and some of high school, and I've had two boyfriends. Now, I'm studying for a career in occupational therapy, because I feel the field is undervalued and provides tremendous help to people.

I'm giving you this background because there's this strange misconception that if you want to kill someone then you're either sick in the head or you have anger management issues. But, it's very apparent that I don't fall into either of those categories. It's true that most murder cases are in a domestic setting where someone loses control of their anger or something. But the thing is that those people kill under provocation, whether by a singular outburst or by a slow-burning series of misfortunes. Those people kill because in that brief moment, they want a specific someone, for a specific reason, to be hurt or killed.

What I'm talking about is wanting to kill someone for no specific reason, maybe just to see what it's like. Do you ever get that? I wouldn't know how others feel, because it's not something I ever talked about. But I've been curious about what it's like to kill someone ever since I was a child. Not killing anyone in particular, just a random person. It's always just fascinated me that if I put my mind to it, I can approach anyone, and in five minutes they would be completely gone from this Earth.

But I've never done so for a couple of reasons. First of all, for most of my life it was logistically impossible for me to do it without getting caught. I only got my driver's license a couple years ago, and even then, the preparations would take too much time, definitely stirring suspicion. It was only once I started college that I realized this was no longer an obstacle.

Another reason is that I was afraid of causing harm to too many people. You might laugh reading that, at how hypocritical it sounds. But, let me explain: Why should I feel bad about killing someone if they're too dead to care? Who would I be feeling bad for? Contrarily, it's the grief of the living that I'd rather not be responsible for. Because of this, I knew it would take a good deal of research before finding a suitable person to kill, and I've never had the means to do so - again, until I started college.

And now, having just experienced it, I'd say it was pretty satisfying in the end. Something I would try again? Probably not, since my curiosity has already been satisfied. It really wouldn't be the same a second time.

But anyway, if by any chance you're also curious to kill someone, then you're welcome to take notes. :)