It's hard to fit in

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by Kuma445

by Kuma445

Now, this fact is true for anyone, because it is extremely hard to live in a planet where there are thousands of different people with different interests. Now here is another fact that is also true for anyone and that is we are all weird in some way shape or form. It doesn't matter how old you are, what your race is, or what your gender is, we are all weird in some way. And I think that we can all agree that middle school is the weirdest and most difficult time for all of us. And this is where my story comes in. As mentioned in a previous chapter my school functions differently from other schools. There are classes with different grades mixed together, you don't switch classes during the day which means you don't switch classes for the rest of the year which also means that if you have ten annoying kids in your class your stuck with them for that year. Now, I have been at this school literally my whole life. And when I say literally I mean literally I have been at this school since I was in pre-k and some of my friends have as well. And our school provides grades all they way from pre-k to 8th grade. After you graduate 8th grade you leave the school and go to high school. I am currently in 8th grade and in my last year at the school. Now here's the thing about the 7th and 8th grade class it is filled with kids that have been there since pre-k or kids that have been there since first or second grade. And since our school keeps everyone close like some weird hodgepodge of a family we already kind of know each other. We've seen each other during play time in previous years or we were in classes together but either way we didn't exactly KNOW each other. The only people that I really knew as close friends were two girls that I used to hang out with all the time. And we still hang out but now we've kind of drifted. (That's a story for another chapter of course) So when you put a bunch of kids in a room where only a couple people will recognize each other as actual friends but no one else really knows a ton about one another then we have quite a pickle. Now throw in me. I am kind of awkward my friend is still nice to me and we hang out sometimes but we're not as close as we were years ago, I think in a very different way that not a lot of people understand, I don't know a lot about some people, I have low self esteem, I don't know what the heck to do, I hate myself and... I suddenly feel like I'm alone. Sure everyone in my class is unique but I'm really different. I can't explain how or why and no one else can. I'm told that there is this thing about me that makes me different from everyone else and I don't know what that thing is. So couple weeks later into the start of the school year I decided to join a musical theater after school thing where you get to sing songs from musicals and musicals are a one big thing that I love. So, great! Something that I won't have to feel awkward and alone in right?! Well guess what! Literally everyone knows each other, a lot of the people there are a bit too girly for my taste, they seem to be obsessed with only musicals, and GOSH GOLLY GEE WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT I AM STUCK IN THE SAME SITUATION AS I WAS BEFORE!!! Now to be fair recently I have met a couple girls who I can talk to about things other than musicals! One of them absolutely loves creepy pastas, and the other one I can just relate to on a personal level because we're both pretty awkward and we really don't know how to interact with everyone around us. And the girls that I don't exactly know are still very nice. But even with the girls that I am kinda close with we're not that close. It's not like my school where in two days you know everyone's name. No, it's more like, "Hey you like this thing? Well I also like that thing! Want to be friends?" And there is nothing wrong with that. But there still is this awkward air that just won't go away. Anyway, I've been yammering on long enough but if you ever feel like this I know it sucks and it'll probably stay with you for a while but just try and socialize or not socialize at all I've learned that's pretty effective and just know that this is only preparing you for the social mine field that is high school.