A message.

hello.

Hello, as I'm sure you're aware, Jonghyun sadly passed away yesterday. I was never into SHINee but I can sympathise with the fanbase, I'm heartbroken at the fact you're all heartbroken.

Since my Instagram and facebook feed is full of the updates on his death, it's not difficult to miss extra details. 

A bandmate had been taken to hospital after fainting when he found out the news.

I found out this morning that over 100 shawols have committed suicide since.

I am in no way exaggerating, my breath caught in my throat for a second and my chest felt like someone was sitting on it. I couldn't believe it. 

I also found out that a close friend of his is rumoured to be suicidal due to a message she had posted, saying that she would see him soon. Her Instagram has apparently also blanked, it's saying she has no posts yet and her followers/following cannot be seen, there's nothing there. 

I feel so, so sorry for the fandom and everyone involved as it just seems to keep coming, bad news after bad news.

Some people are also taking this as an opportunity to post negatively, which is not okay. At all. I saw a post on the Instagram explore page, where someone had posted a collage of a photo of Jonghyun and Jungkook, with the text 'RIP Jonghyun'. Jungkook had no reason to be there whatsoever, only because they had the same jumper on.

That is disrespectful.

I have no doubt in my mind that Jungkook was on there so the post would gain more views as Jungkook is a popular celebrity in the kpop community.

I have also seen some tweets around his death, most of which were negative. The majority basically said someone else from a different band should've died. Due to the fact that most of what I follow are BTS fansites, I saw the tweets saying that one of BTS should've died. But I am sure that there were many more to follow about other bands.

That's not okay.

It's incredibly saddening that someone has died, don't wish it on someone else. It's horrible. Don't forget that they're people too, some may feel the same way Jonghyun did. Many don't realise the impact of their words until it's too late.

Please, please be kind. This doesn't just apply in this situation, you should be kind to everyone you meet because anyone can be hiding something behind a front.

To anyone who is thinking of following Jonghyun and many others to heaven, don't.

I'm not sure my words will do much, but I just want to let people know I will listen to your problems if you ever want to come tell me.

I just want to let you know that someone cares.

It may not seem like it, you've searched everywhere and no one seems to care. But I assure you, there will be that one person, that one special person, who cares for you. A mother, a friend, an online friend, a family member. It could be anyone, but there is always someone.

I believe in something which I like to call the plan. I don't believe in God, personally, but I believe there's someone, something, watching over you. A guardian angel, a family member, an ancestor. There's someone planning out your life, day by day, week by week and so on.

Yeah, there will be downs, the worst day or days of your life. But to compensate, there's the ups, the best day or days of your life. The days you'll think of positively and with a smile on your face. 

These people plan out your life right until the very last second, they decide your fate. It's like a long book, each day is a new page. That's why you can turn a new page. It's why days are similar, the paragraph continues over more than a page. When you do something extreme, a page is ripped out as it can't fit with the storyline.

If you commit suicide, you miss out on all the days they've planned. All the good opportunities and days that follow bad nights, all the laughter and smiles yet to come. All the life experiences. The unforgettable days which you'll never be able to experience because you sadly ended the book early.

When it's time for you to leave this life, you make your way up to heaven and your angels pass you the book. Then, you take this book and visit who you want, retelling your story. Or you can sit in a corner and read over what you achieved and how you lived.

If you commit suicide, you have to show Jonghyun a half-filled book. Imagine being able to tell your idol your entire life story, every little detail for him to listen to. Don't you want him to sit there for hours as you retell the full story, finally sitting with a proud smile on his face as he hears how you survived even after he passed, even though the days were hard but somehow you were strong enough to stay.

Please, stay strong.

Shawols, stay strong. Many fandoms are here for you guys <3.

Try to see the silver lining.

It's sad he's gone, but look at everything you got to experience. His voice, his laugh, him as a person. Be thankful you got to know him, even though it might've not been personally, face to face, you knew an amazing person.

Make sure you all look after yourselves, self-care is vital.

Personally, I think the best idea is to isolate yourself from social media for an hour or two. Days if you wish. And just look after yourself.

Catch up on sleep. Try a new hobby, perfect a hobby. Paint. Draw. Write. Brush through your hair a little slower, let it down for longer. Have a long bath with a bath bomb, if you're feeling fancy. Learn a choreography, learn a song. Play a new instrument, get into a new sport. It can be anything.

Ignore your acne, zits or spots, ignore all the negativity surrounding your weight. So what you've got spots? So what you're heavier than someone? So what you're lighter than someone?

You're still beautiful. 

As I said before, stay strong <3