No One

Chapter Fourteen

Pain shot round her body, like ice in her veins, she had never felt so cold, even her breath was cold, she could see every breath she made as she lay down on her back, just looking up at the clouds, the little sunlight she could see. She was not sure what was to happen, she knew her body was to die but beyond that, she remained very uncertain, scared like a lost child. Her anger and rage seemed less important at that moment, she did not want her last moments to be thoughts of rage or revenge, she could not run from what she did, what she would do but she was not scared, she did not allow herself to fear what she would face, what was to come but no one could tell her how to make certain she would be reborn and not another statistic.

Bowen softly held her hand, it was oddly comforting, knowing she would pass with someone close to her, there to help her if he could. She was not going to die alone, or wake up alone, he was going to be there for her, when she died and when she was reborn but there was the question on her mind... what would she face? What would there be waiting for her? Would it be a darkness, or would there be something else? Would it be something else? He was not offering answers and that admittedly worried her.

"Calm down," he whispered soothingly as she gripped his hand tightly.

"Did you go through this?", she asked, grunting in pain, trying not to bite into her tongue.

"We all have," he admitted.

"Can you tell me what I will find?" she asked, grunt fiercely in agony.

He shook his head as he kept a gentle grip on her hand. "I cannot, it is different for everyone but remember they are trials, usually relating to your past," he warned with a softer smile, almost gentle eyes. "It will not be long now before the pain takes you."

She did not know what to say to him, she tried to thank him, but the words would not come out, it felt like someone was strangling her, the pain was so cruel, she felt like she was already dead, already at an end. Further pain hit her body like icicles embedded into her skin, hooking her skin and holding her there in place as the last of them came down, piercing her skin shallowly as she waited for the final blow. There was nothing she could do, the pain was nearly unbearable, yet she had to bear it, she had to fight it, to win against it. She was past the point of crying, although that did not relieve any of the pain, her only hope was that he was right, that it would all be over soon, that she would be gone and start her journey of rebirth, a potentially long, tiring journey she did not trust, yet had to do.

She shut her eyes, letting herself drift off. She thought it would be like sleeping but it was nothing like sleeping at all, it was worse, it was crueller. There was little she could do to prevent it, her death had begun, and she could feel herself shutting down, her mind once active was beginning to fade, she was not foolish enough to shout and scream, she did not imagine she could, even if she put her mind to it but the pain was intense, like a hot flame on her heart, making her scream internally yet externally she was silent as the grave.

All she could think about was not letting herself go, she was dying, she was not going to lose the fight, for all she knew it could have been one of the trials she dreaded, proving her worth through them, having to push through to win, if she even could. The pain was fierce, furious as it burnt through her, but she had to fight it, she had to win, she could not lose herself and her mind by giving up on her life, she had to fight through the urge to give up, give in and win, she just had to win, she could not give up on herself, that was not an option, she wanted her revenge and she was going to see it through, she just did not know what she would be up against, what trials she would face once she was gone. She scrunched her eyes as she struggled with the last few flushes of pain before finally, after what felt like hours, her heart stopped beating, she stopped breathing and her body lay still on the ground.