Random Thoughts🍒✨

[✉01]

Everything seems so dark,I felt my heart beats fast every fucking seconds.I'm all alone now.In this dark and abandon place.Where am I?I tried to keep running but it felt like I'm just going back to the same place each time.Is this a freaking nightmare?I close my eyes and silently prayed that if I open my eyes maybe I'll be awake from this craziness.As I let my eyes  open and adjust at the sudden change of surrounding.

There.I saw you smiling and waving at me.I let one tear slide on my cheek.Maybe this isn't nightmare at all.I run to you while you open your arms.I was about to hug you tight but you just walk pass through me.And there I saw you smiling and hugging her so fucking tight.You two kissed like there's no tomorrow while I'm trying to hide the pain that slowly eating my whole heart.I bet this is what they called "jealousy."

I want to be selfish though.I want you only for me.You are my happiness.You always told me that you love me each and every fucking day but what happened?I am confused.

You two looked at each other then looked up and smiled as your fans cheer and shout your name with HER.I saw this coming but why can't I accept the REALITY,the FACT that your world and mine will not collide.

I wiped the tears that manage to fall I didn't notice it at all.I look so pathetic meanwhile you look so fucking inlove and the way your eyes twinkle with joy everytime you look at her made my heart cries in agony.

But seeing you right now with HER,and if your happiness is HER.I will let you go my love.I will forget each of our memories together.Together in my freaking dreams.I will try to forget those times that I am cheering and hoping that you will notice me in the sea of crowds.Praying that maybe someday you will find me pretty and fall inlove with me at first sight in your fanmeetings.I will try to erase those.

Thank you for making me happy when I'm sad.Thank you for making my heart thump when you laugh and smile.Thank you for making me feel special.Thank you for everything my love.

I hope that SHE'S THE ONE for you.I hope that you'll be happy forever with HER.Maybe someday I will also find the one for me, someone like you.I will fucking move on and continue in chasing my dreams.I guess this is the end huh?Always remember that I love you and Goodbye,my sweetest nightmare.

As I walk to the opposite way with a sad smile.The next thing I knew is.I bump at the wall---or should I say a handsome man who is looking at me with a poker face.Tsk.Remind me why shit happens please?

Your Hopeless Fangirl,
Chaaaeelliiin