Dreamer

Chapter 2

Quote: "The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

Monday.
I wake up feeling the cold breeze that has been blowing through my open window since the day before. I like it this way, cold, dark and isolated from the rest of my house. No one else understands why though, especially my mother. As usual my mother walks into the room complaining about all the things I do wrong and about how cold it is. She never walks in to say good morning, or something nice, it's always what I do wrong, and I don't want to hear it anymore.

Before she even gets to my room, I can hear her yelling, 

" Amanda, Amanda wake up! Amanda" she continues, " Amanda if I call you one more time! You know I don't have time for this. You have to do better, because you're almost sixteen." Then she ends it saying, " It's too late for you, when will you learn, when?"

By the time she's in my room, I block out everything in the real world, to think about the dream I had last night. In the dream, I was running through a forest, with two boys and a plane waiting for us.

The two boys in the dream with me were, Shane, a tall brown headed boy with blue-green eyes, and a very athletic figure, who was always smiling and had dimples that were to die for. His lips were full and soft, they were colored a pale shade of pink. The second boy was Jaden. He was also tall, and he had a strong fitting body. He wasn't very bright or smiley like Shane. However he had a beautiful smile, and deep dimples, when he chose to smile. He had long wavy black hair with green highlights, which was put in a pony most of the time. His lips were plump, they looked soft and he was just a beautiful person in all, but he was dark. Me Jason and Shane were playing our classic hide and seek, which I know is childish, but ours was different. We went around the world leaving clues for each other, and always ended up in the forest with one guess about where the other person traveled to, and what they did. Towards the end of our game, Jason disappeared. He didn't poof into thin air or anything, he just went missing, like he had been taken or something. That's when I woke up.

Outside this dream world, I didn't know the two boys, I never even met them before, so I hoped they were real. In my dreams, They were both my closest friends. They were also the two most adored people in Gale High, a school I happened to dream about,  but never got the opportunity to attend. Every girl in Gale adored them, and did everything in their power to get a relationship with them, but Jaden always refused based on past history, and Shane took them up on their offer once in a while, but never got close enough to have a real relationship with them. I felt closer to Jaden than I did to Shane, because Shane always found new and creative ways to shut me out. He never gave me a chance to peel off his good boy great personality look, so I couldn't find what was truly hidden underneath, but unlike others I was lucky enough to be closer than he had let anyone else. Jaden was someone I'd known my whole life. I couldn't remember when we met, and perhaps there was some family history involved with it, but he was there for me when life spiraled down and dragged me into this deep hole of self hate, tragedy and death. 

When I snapped out of my day dreaming, my mom was no longer in the room, so I got ready for my 25th day as a freshman in Whitewater High. I wore the necklace my sister Kaitlyn gave me before she left for college, with favorite pair of black boots, and a bracelet that my dad sent before he died. Most days I shut the world out to pretend he's still alive and he didn't mysteriously die. I pretend to get little clues from him that raise my hopes, and make me believe he is still alive, and that he just wants me to find him and prove to my mom, he was never dead. I remember the first night he went missing clear as day. 

My mom and I waited all night for him to get back home from work, but he never came. My mom said maybe he had to work all night, which was odd, because he came home before I even got home from school. As far as I knew he never stayed out late, until that day. We continued to wait for the second day, but he never showed. My mom went to report him as a missing person the next day, and we waited some more, as the police searched all over the town for him. They didn't go out of our town because they were low on resources, which they needed to solve a recent murder. My dad was ruled dead a month later, and we were just supposed to forget about him. The authorities never investigated his death, and no one in the town brought it up again. I never gave up searching for him, until my mom claimed I was crazy and sent me to the local therapist, Dr John Howard, who diagnosed my searching and craziness to be caused by stress and anxiety disorders. He was so wrong, because I was never anxious enough to have anxiety disorders, and when I read about them, I didn't have any of the symptoms. I managed to convince my mom to stop taking me to Dr Howard, and I kept every thought about my father to myself afterward.

My mom would never admit this to me or herself, but I saw her every night, when she broke down and screamed about nothing making sense, I saw her on the floor with dads work folder and the information the police gave us, before ruling dads death and closing his case. I saw her with her journal and her pen, scribbling down any thing she saw as a clue, and obsessively looking for new information that would get dads case open back up. I saw her fall asleep on the floor after crying so hard and blaming herself, for everything. I saw Kaitlyn carry her to the couch and cover her with dads favorite blanket when she finally fell asleep. 

Then overtime she started to shut everyone out. She wouldn't acknowledge anyone, and she stayed in her room, forcing herself to forget. On the day Kaitlyn was about to leave for college, she came out of the room, dressed in new clothes, with makeup on, and her hair curled and tied into a ponytail. You wouldn't even be able tell she was crying and slowing dying inside, or that she was locked up in her room, everyday. After Kaitlyn left she got worse. She actually began to forget about dad, and everything that happened. She became a new person. A cold hearted woman who judged me, the neighbors and anyone who went against her believes. The mother who wouldn't call her daughter who was far away in college. The wife who wouldn't visit her late husbands grave. The wife who told everyone in town that she never got married. The mother who looked her daughters in the eye and told them, she didn't believe they were hers. I mean she even came up with the idea that we were our father's love children who she had to adopt. When she realized what she said, she showered us with gifts for a whole week, and made a rule that no one should talk about dad. Then that was it, till this day.