Vacant

Chapter 6

Saying Niall had forgotten what football is compares to saying Albert Einstein had forgotten how to count. It was an unlikely thought; one that I had never, in the span of knowing Niall, imagined possible. I look at him and wait to see whether or not he was just joking.

He wasn't.

I stare into his clueless eyes and mutter dryly. "It's a sport."

"Follow me," He breaks the silence yet again. He gets up from the chair and his hospital attire shows a slit exposing his muscular bum. He was just as fit as I had remembered, maybe even more. "Come on," he demands as he walks towards the stairs.

"But your mam told us to stay here,"

"Were you always some sort of a virtuous Mary?" Niall turns around and crinkles his eyes at me.

"I've been told I'm more of a Mary Magdalene." I say as I confidently stride before him. That was a lie. In fact, I had never been compared to either. I wasn't good enough to be virgin Mary. At the same time, I had not been as iniquitous as the younger Mary was before she met Jesus.

I guess I'm in the middle of both.

"We should use the lift," I say as I point a finger at the elevator.

"I prefer the stairs,"

"If that's what you want," I say as I march up the stairs. Niall follows me closely and as I feel him getting closer to my body, I flinch a little.

"Where are we going?" I ask as we get to the next floor.

"Nowhere in particular."

"There's a chapel here somewhere," I offer. "Maybe praying can help you reflect and remember the memories you lost."

"I don't wanna go there right now." he says as he sinks to the cold hospital floor with his head against the wall.

"Are you tired?" I hurry to his side and he looks at me with the saddest blue eyes.

"How come I can't remember a lot of things?" He grasps his head with his nails and they dig deep into his scalp. "Maybe things would be better if I had not waken up. Then I wouldn't have to suffer the feeling of being oblivious as fuck."

"Don't blame yourself." I say as I pull his hands to his side.

"You don't get it," he whispers. "You don't get how it feels like to know nothing about yourself."

I look at him and I face the eyes of a stranger. He really is not the same person anymore. He was lost like a stray dog who no longer recalls his old owner. He was no longer mine.

"I was robbed, Nike. I've got nothing now. I'm alone in this world."

"You're not alone." I hold his hand and rub my thumb on his to calm him down. "You've got your parents. You've got Zayn."

"You've. Got. Me." I breathe slowly. The temptation to kiss his lips buzzes like a bee in my head but I don't act on it. I don't want to scare him. I don't want to know if his lips would still wrap perfectly around mine. Because truth be told, I had a feeling he'd reject me. I wouldn't be able to handle that. But who can blame him? To him, I am the scary stranger.

"I was right, wasn't I?" he asks as he stands up from the floor. "We did have a past."

I think of what to say to him. When I open my mouth, I find myself nodding. "You can say that,"

"I'm guessing things ended between us before the accident?"

"What made you say that?"

"The way you looked at Zayn. A memory came back to me when I saw yer face light up at his presence. But instead of looking at another person, you were looking at me."

"Zayn and I aren't together."

Anymore.

"But you fancy him?"

I fancy you. Only you.

"It's okay," He starts to laugh. "I bet I did something stupid to mess things up between us."

"Since Zayn's my best mate, he must be a great guy." he adds. "You have my blessing."

"He is." I look at the floor. Zayn was a great guy. I don't know what I've done to deserve him. Maybe the gods were on my side and they had given me Zayn to comfort me when I was devastated over breaking up with Niall. But Niall is the one for me. I'm sure of it. And I have to make him remember that. "You're a great guy too." I murmur.

"I don't think so."

"Why would you think that?"

"My truck. The day of the accident, the back was filled with crystal meth." He closes his eyes. "The police are planning a case on me for illegal possession and possible dealing. Me mam told me about it when I woke up."

"I know you. You may have smoked a few rolls a few times but you're not a dealer." I shake my head. It's not his. It can't be. "Are you gonna get arrested?" I swallow.

"This amnesia thing's slowing it down, it's the only thing keeping me from a cell."

"Let's go back down. If we disappear for too long they might think you're on the run."

"I'm not scared," Niall insists.

"You don't want to give them reason to doubt you."

"Fuck the police."

"But Niall..."

"You're not me mam." he says as he runs up the stairs.

He was like a little boy and his eyes were filled with fear. Fear that he was wrong. Fear that he was, no matter how much he claimed he wasn't, scared.

I walk down the stairs and a dozen questions intrude my thoughts.

How well did I know Niall?

Did I even know him at all?