Sex makes you realize.

Chapter 1.

I was young, & in love. But what I had, was it really love? I don't know, I'm just a young, naive, hormone-driven teen! There he was, the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. As soon as I saw him, I knew he was the one. I had never been in love, I had never even had my first kiss. We were in the same high school, bayside performing arts. I was in every single class w/ him, but we never talked. Then one day, he came to me. W/ a simple "hi there!" he had sweeped me off my feet. I was so shy, I replied w/ a boring "hey." We exchanged numbers, we talked everyday. Finally, we became great friends. We both knew we liked eachother, but we never confessed. One day, I was just tired of being his friend. W/ all of the courage inside my tiny, little body, I asked him out. He said, "of course, I'll go out w/ you!" It was just the best day of my life.

I remember our first date very well. Instead of going out to the movies & expensive restaurants, we just went to his place, turned on a comedy w/ some popcorn, & had fun. Everyone in our school knew we were a couple, we were always congratulated. We were going strong for a whole year, then one day, our relationship just turned sour. We started fighting, calling names, accusing eachother, & on horrible occasions, breaking up. Our relationship went from smiles & happiness, to pain & despair. But I can't blame him for being mad at me most of the time, I did do something very horrible to him, I lied to him. I don't know why I did it, I don't know what made me lie to the man of my dreams. But my lies didn't mean crap, when I found out he cheated on me. When I found out he cheated, I went into full-on depression. All I would do is think to myself "Was it my fault he cheated? Was I not pretty enough? Maybe I didn't keep him satisfied. Maybe it was that I hadn't slept w/ him yet. Yeah, that's it. He craved intimacy, & I didn't give it to him." I came to the conclusion that it was my fault, I should've slept w/ him, gave him what he wanted. But I didn't want to have sex, I'd never even thought about it. I told myself to suck it up & ask why he cheated, why he betrayed me, so I did. He told me, "It was all because I love you."