Diary Of Nathan Park

School

Hey guys just wanna say that this story is true and factual. One of my good friends told me about his life and how it's going and approved of me writing this. So please no insensitive comments please. -KJRO
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June 17, 2017

           Being recently graduated from Highschool I can tell you about my highschool experience. The truth and only the truth. My highschool experience was the worst time in my life.

The people I met freshman and sophomore year were all fake. They acted differently than they would've if they were alone. Their stories they told were exaggerated beyond reasonable and their masks they wore when talking scared me. But I wore one too...my life was miserable at "home" having being yelled at by my grandparents for something. It felt like I couldn't do anything. But sorry I got side tracked.

Most people use school as an getaway from the chaos at home. But I couldn't... being bullied about my weight or the way I looked. Sometimes I got physically beaten at school by people who were beaten at home themselves... I felt bad for them, but I was going through the same thing. They expressed their emotions in a different way... I prefer to cry and pray for a better life, but... that never happened.

Everyone wears a mask... some have thicker ones than others. And most even take off the mask at times for someone they're close to... but looking back my mask was the thickest out of everyone. To the point where I couldn't take the mask off even to someone I was close to. Not even my family knew I had a mask on. Hiding the physical and verbal abuse behind a mask was the easiest thing I could do. Bottle up my emotions till I explode... take beating after beating from assholes who couldn't express their feeling correctly.

My mask wasn't always so thick... but when I opened up to someone they rejected me for who I truly was...  every time they pushed me aside after using me to get what they wanted... so little by little my mask got thicker accommodating to fit the social confrontations I was encountering. Little by little the mask became someone who people enjoyed and wanted to be around. People wanted to hang out with me, so I enjoyed their company and kept my mask on until i couldn't take it off...

Sorry if I was ranting there about masks and bullshit. I just... hate it you know? I firmly believe we aren't bad people when we're born, it's society who forms us into what we are. After being abused, rejected. And neglected I became someone I didn't want to be but someone other people want me to be. Doing stuff I normally wouldn't just to fit in... but the glory of that... is the friends I made. The real ones, not the fake ones who just use you for something... true friends are hard to come by but when you find them you have a friend forever... or so I thought... my friend group was really big. Having over 1/3 of the whole highschool around me and my main group of 13. The lower classman who I hung out with from my main group treated me differently after I graduated. They treated me like a stranger even going as far as ignoring me completely... people who I spent 2-3 years with sharing fun memories and sad ones too... they just ignored me... being betrayed by people who you though was your closest friends... it really puts a hole in your heart... to this day I only have 7 true friends I can rely on with almost anything... they house me when I have nowhere to go, they take me fun places even though I have no money to pay them back... they're my truest friends.

Well that'll be it for today...
-Nathan Park