I Will Try To Fix You

Entry 1

Hey everyone! I'm glad my story caught your eye! Heads up: there are some touchy subjects with family and depression. ALSO: The story is based on two different people's journal entries. You will be able tell the ending of their entries by the signatures and the dotted line separating the sections . Thanks for the support! :)

February 1st

Dear Diary,

My name is Aubrey Claire Williams. I am seventeen years old. I started this diary for a reason. Well, let's put it this way, my life is simply horrible. It may sound as if I am over exaggerating, but no one knows anything. I tend to make my feelings inconspicuous to the outside world, not a single soul knows how I feel on the inside or what is going on in my world. I might as well just spill it out. My parents are splitting up. Some may think "so what", but the purpose behind the divorce is something that makes me writhe on the inside. My dad cheats, he is emotionally abusive and comes home drunk and belligerent almost every freaking night, barging in screaming at my mother, sister, and my self. My mother is breaking down from all the hurt and suffering that is going on. She has turned to alcohol herself, and I constantly hear her crying. My little sister Nicole is only ten years old. I honestly am so worried about her, she clings to mom and dad, hoping one day life will get better. My heart breaks for them, they are the only people I truly love and care for. I hate my father for what he has done to us. I am now the "glue" of the family. I am the provider. I work seven hours every freaking day after school while maintaining a 3.5 GPA. Some would say I am so strong, but the truth is I'm not. LIfe has taken a toll on my confidence, my goals, my everything. Due to my father's abuse, the way I feel about my self is at an all time low. Everyday, he comes up to me saying what I need to improve.

"Aubrey, you fat piece of s***! Join a freaking gym. You're a disappointment to this family, do you not see that!"

His words cut like knives. Maybe that's why I...never mind.

School doesn't help either. All I hear is what other people say about me.

"Ugh Aubrey is such a pig. Aubrey is so ugly. Can't she buy some decent clothes. Oh my God, look at Aubrey, why is she so skinny?! EW!"

You know what, why am I holding back? This is why...no, he and they are why...I'm anorexic and bulimic. I cut everyday. I've been sent to the hospital five times in the pass three months from malnourishment and excessive blood loss. Exactly! No, I'm not doing all this for attention, I'm doing it because I, myself, am breaking inside. I can't handle the pressure, I can't handle being the "glue" anymore. The only other things that are keeping me alive are my best friends in the world, Pheobe and Rebecca. They know practically everything about me. My final escape, performing. I've been dancing ever since I was three and I recently got into singing. It's like the world just pauses and I am the only one there. I like to make people smile, I like to express my self in ways others can't and dancing and singing help me. Well, it's getting late and I still have to finish my home work. I'll write later.

-A.C.W

- - - - - - - - - -

Dear Diary or journal, or what ever this is,

I'm supposed to write in this thing to help me "cope" with moving to America. Mum says it will help, and I guess it will, she always gives really good advice. I might as well introduce my self. I'm Brad Parkers, a seventeen year old bloke from Liverpool, England. In all honesty, Connecticut is nothing like home. I miss my mates, but I really miss my dad. He died two years ago in a car crash. Since that day, my life spiraled down hill. I got into acid and alcohol for the next year and a half after he passed. I've been in prison twice and honestly, it isn't the most chipper place to be. But one day, something just snapped. I realized how much pain and suffering I put my mum in when she needed me the most. I thought about my dad and I took time to think about how he would've felt about all this. So, I went to my mum and told her I need to change. Not for my own personal self, but for the both of us, no the three of us. So, she made a plan. We are going to move to America. She got the opportunity for work, but she was hesitant at first because she didn't want to make it difficult for me. I agreed and now I regret the decision a majority of the time. But in the end, this will be the best for me. I mean England is always going to be there and I can save up to go back. And of course, American girls are hot. Struth! I'm tired. I'll write later.

- B.P