Where I Stand [Larry Stylinson FanFic]

Prologue

Prologue

I was crying and I couldn't help it! I tried to talk to Louis today about everything, yet he doesn't want anything to do with me. He doesn't understand how he's making me feel. He just wants to be left alone, but I want him with me, holding me, kissing my cheek, telling me his hilariously lame jokes. But he's not here. He's not the same Lou I grew to know, the same Lou I fell in love with. He's not my Boo Bear. It's like he's a completely different person.

I grabbed the vodka, the pack of smokes I bought earlier today and a knife from the rack. I walked up to my room carefully trying to avoid being noticed by anyone. Well, I don't care if Louis sees me with this stuff. It wouldn't matter, he wouldn't understand like he used to. Just even thinking that he doesn't love me anymore breaks my heart even more, making it near beyond repair. I was far past the crying stage of my heartbreak. I feel like Bella did when Edward left her. How he wanted nothing to do with her, how she replayed what he said, over and over again in her head. I was doing the exact same.

I entered my room, slamming the door close with my foot and dumped my stuff on the bed. I pulled out my iPhone and plugged in my earphones. I went to look for the most depressing song in my library, accidentally tapping a song that relates to me so much right now.

"Shit," I mumbled under my breath.

It was Moments, by us; One Direction. One direction's right, down the fucking shitter. I put the song on repeat, locked the phone and sat on the bed, lighting up a ciggy, and sighed out before I took the first drag. Eventually, I downed half the bottle of Vodka and smoked half the pack of cigarettes. I didn't want it to come to this, but it has. He may as well be dead to me and I can’t live in a world without him.

Flashing lights in my mind going back to the time

Playing games in the street kicking balls with my feet

There's a numb in my toes, standing close to the edge

There's a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed

As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all

I couldn't help myself. I was an emotional wreck. My breath slowed as I made my mind up, but by the time I did make my mind up, Louis' solo came on again, as the song is on repeat. I sat there, eyeing the knife. What happens next is completely up to fate.